Haunting the Cullens
by Fakin'it
Summary: A Twi-fan finds herself haunting the Cullens in the cafeteria on Bella's 1st day, unseen & unheard by the humans, shielded from all the Cullens' gifts, & unable to be touched at all, passing right through solid objects. The Cullens can see & hear her just fine though, & boy does she have a lot to say to them. Time to deliver a few home truths & some help to our favorite vampires.
1. Hyperfocus

**Disclaimer:** This is based on the book series written by Stephenie Meyer and is a tribute to her characters. It is purely written for fun and not for profit.

**Hyperfocus**

Fatigued after a long day, I flopped down on the sofa, sinking down into the cushions with a sigh of relief. Grabbing the fuzzy blanket off the back, I settled into the corner of the couch, covering my legs and feet. I checked my emails on my laptop and surfed the net, before becoming bored. I was tired, but not yet sleepy. Spying the book Twilight under my coffee table, I decided to read a few passages to entertain myself until I felt ready to head off to bed for the night. I'd read the whole series numerous times before discovering the almost never-ending supply of fan fiction on the net dealing with my favorite characters. Now it had been several years since I read the originals, though I was still very familiar with the storyline.

I hunkered down with the first book, getting lost in the story once again, seeing it all in my mind clear as day as my eyes skimmed over the familiar words. Soon Bella entered the cafeteria with Jessica, and I could easily picture it: the room full of teenagers - sitting, standing, walking, talking, whispering, shouting, waiting, eating, drinking, laughing, reading, listening to music, texting, kissing, and cuddling all at the same time in the same space. I could imagine the cacophony of sound from a hundred simultaneous conversations and the unpleasant mixture of body odor, cleaning chemicals, and greasy foods, just like any other public high school cafeteria in the rural counties across America. Lastly, I could envision the table full of bored vampires, posing with their uneaten props, not even bothering to speak with one another as they attempted to tolerate their surroundings. I continued reading:

"_One girl sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch. She was tiny, several inches shorter than my five feet four inches, but her wildly curly dark hair made up a lot of the difference between our heights. I couldn't remember her name, so I smiled and nodded as she prattled about teachers and classes. I didn't try to keep up._

_We sat at the end of a full table with several of her friends, who she introduced to me. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them. They seemed impressed by her bravery in speaking to me."_

I couldn't help thinking of Midnight Sun at this point. This scene was so much more interesting when considering Edward's point of view of it at the same time. I focused on the vampires and could see them posed just the way Bella was about to describe them. The more I focused on them the closer my view got, as if I were zooming in with a camera, or simply moving closer. I watched Edward's head move slowly to the left and then to the right. Smiling to myself, I focused on him, moving closer again, noticing as his eyes looked up to the ceiling and then back down.

_He's communicating with Alice_, I thought to myself, smiling wider. My smile faltered as I remembered why. _Jasper_. My eyes flicked to him and saw how dark his were, how uncomfortable he was. As I watched, Jasper's eyes darkened further and focused on a girl at the end of the table next to theirs.

"Jasper!" Edward growled, kicking his chair. Jasper met Edward's black gaze for a minute, then dropped his head, a look of shame twisting his features. I scowled as Jasper muttered an apology.

Edward shrugged, and Alice murmured, "You weren't going to do anything. I could see that."

I frowned, knowing Alice was about to be condescending to him, talking about the girl's family, making Jasper feel worse about himself. _As if talking to him like a child will help his self-confidence and drive to succeed._ I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, Alice. Give him a break. Edward's the one you _should_ be worrying about. He's the one about to …."

I would've finished my sentence - I had a habit of talking to the characters when they did stupid things in the stories I read - except for the fact that all five of them were staring at me in shock. I trailed off and blinked a few times, surprised. That didn't usually happen, unless I was writing a story including myself as one of the characters. But I wasn't writing anything, I was just reading. _Right?_

"Um, did you _hear_..do you _see_ me?" I blurted out confused, my words all jumbled together.

They all frowned and nodded. "Who _are_ you?" Rose demanded in a bitchy tone, clearly implying '_Who the hell do you think you are_?'

My eyes flew around the room, my senses fully engaged, noticing how real everything seemed despite my mental reminder that I was only reading a book. Normally that would have been more than enough to bring me jolting back to the reality of my living room, yet the cafeteria was still clear as day.

Frowning deeply, with furrowed brows, I looked directly at Edward and asked, "Can _they_ see me?"

"Who?" Edward asked, looking at me like I was crazy at the same time Rosalie muttered, "What the hell is wrong with her?"

Ignoring Rose's glares, I rolled my eyes at Edward and murmured under my breath in a scathingly condescending tone, "The humans, _duh_."

All five of them instantly growled at me, but a quick scan of the nearby tables indicated none of the humans heard it. _Why could I hear it? _I wondered.

Alice was spaced out, obviously looking into the future, Edward was concentrating with a constipated look on his face, and Jasper was watching me like a hawk who'd spied a juicy mouse after starving for a week. Emmett was surprised, but not worried, and Rosalie was constantly flicking her gaze from me to her siblings to the nearby humans and back again.

"They don't see her. She's _invisible_ to them!" Edward growled at the same time Alice admitted in a panicked squeak, "I can't _see_ her! She doesn't _exist_."

"What the hell _are_ you?" Rose demanded ferociously, reaching out to grab me. I didn't even have time to think about trying to dodge her claws before her hand passed right through my arm. They all froze, just as shocked as I was, giving me their undivided attention.

_Oh, I'm dreaming_, I thought. _Of course_. Smiling, then grinning, I chuckled. "Well, obviously I'm not a threat, since I can't touch you and the humans can't see or hear me."

I felt it was wise to point that out to them, so they could all calm down and stop trying to figure out how to kill me.

I saw Edward shake his head minutely and realized he was answering someone's thoughts.

"What?" Rose hissed in a near silent whisper.

"Edward can't hear her, Alice can't see her, and I can't feel her," Jasper breathed.

_Oh, goody! _I thought, then mentally smirked as I figured out they thought I couldn't hear them either.

Rose's eyes widened in fear, while Emmett scoffed, "Well, duh, she's a ghost."

_Sure, I could be a ghost_, I thought with amusement. "Exactly, Emmett! A+ for you!" I praised with a smirk.

Jasper lifted an eyebrow and interrogated, "Why were you so surprised that Rose couldn't touch you?"

I shrugged. "I didn't know I was a ghost. I was alive in my living room an hour ago."

It sounded like a reasonable explanation to me, and it was absolutely true. This was one of the best dreams I'd had in ages.

"How'd you die?" Rose questioned suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.

I shrugged again. "No idea. One minute I was relaxing on my couch, reading a book, and the next, I was standing here with you. Maybe a vampire drained me dry," I suggested with a grim smile. I looked over and noticed Bella was getting bored with the conversations around her and starting to glance around the cafeteria.

"Try to look normal," I hissed urgently. I shook my head and rolled my eyes, before correcting myself. "I mean _human_." I chuckled to myself and added, "You all probably look a little crazy talking to the air right now."

They all quickly shifted position self-consciously, directing their heads away from me, but still watching me in their peripherals.

"The new girl is about to notice you guys, and the first thing she's going to think about is how _inhumanly_ beautiful you are, how much alike you look, how none of you are eating or talking or behaving like normal teenagers," I warned.

They grimaced and quickly began making corrections to their behavior, mimicking the gestures and actions of those around them. Rose and Emmett began kissing each other, their hands coming up to shield each others' faces in the guise of stroking each others' cheeks. I noticed Bella's eyes skim hastily over them, embarrassed by witnessing their public display of affection.

Jasper hunched over, rifling through his backpack, as if searching for something. It put him out of her view, since the only thing she could see over the heads of the other students was the back of his jacket. Alice took out her phone and bent her head down to look at it as she began surfing the net. Finding nothing for her eyes to latch onto, Bella's eyes skimmed over them as well.

Edward sighed and began pretending to eat the bread he'd been tearing to pieces on his plate. He brought pieces up to his mouth then tossed them rapidly into the napkin in his lap while pretending to bite and chew. After every five or six 'bites', he pretended to take a sip of his soda. The first time he started to lift it to his mouth, I huffed, "Open it first, idiot. You think no one will notice? You think that won't be incredibly weird? Don't answer that. If you move your lips to talk at vampire speed, she'll notice."

"Who's _that_?" we heard Bella ask. I was loving my new enhanced hearing and thrilled I had already changed the story.

"Don't look at them," I quickly warned, just in time to stop Edward from turning his head in response to hearing his name in Jessica's thoughts.

"Edward Cullen," Jessica giggled. "I know, gorgeous, right? His whole family is. But don't waste your time, he doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." She sniffed, and the other girls nodded their heads in agreement. Bella raised an eyebrow, but didn't reply.

"Edward, you should pretend to answer your phone and smile into it," I suggested. Jasper had taken out a text book and notebook and was pretending to do homework. Edward put his phone up to his ear and started to smile, but his smile turned into a grimace as he suddenly realized he couldn't hear Bella's thoughts.

His eyes darted to mine, and he demanded, "Why can't I hear her thoughts either? Are you shielding her?"

I snorted. "Nope, she's got her own mental shield. She's gonna be an incredibly powerful vampire, strong enough to protect your whole family."

"What? Why would she become a vampire?" Edward growled, his question and growls echoed by Rosalie.

"To keep her from dying, of course," I replied nonchalantly.

"Oh!" Edward replied, his anger quickly draining away, though his brow furrowed at whatever he was thinking.

Rose didn't say anything, simply huffed and rolled her eyes. I knew mentioning that Bella would be able to protect their family would make Rose interested. After all, Rose was all about protecting her family. Sure enough, her curious gaze, as well as Emmett's and Edward's quickly settled on Bella. Seeing the same curious looks from their table as all the other tables, Bella flinched and quickly averted her eyes, not wanting to meet their stares any more than the human stares she was already avoiding.

I smiled, knowing I'd already made changes to the original script. _Time to make some serious alterations to Bella's first day_. "You guys should really take the rest of the day off from school," I suggested.

"Why?" several of them asked at the same time.

"Alice, look at Edward's future instead of Jasper's. Edward, decide to go to Biology. Bella has already decided to go."

Alice got her 'seizure' look that meant she was using her gift. Both Edward and her gasped in horror, causing Jasper to immediately go on the defensive. He tensed, his eyes on his mate, waiting for her to reveal the source of the threat.

"Edward, how could you?!" Alice sobbed. Edward looked sick, disgusted, and ashamed. "I don't know," he admitted in a haunted whisper.

All of their eyes were on Edward now, as were Bella's. She couldn't resist peeking up at him again, and the look on his face had arrested her attention. _Good thing he's supposedly talking on the phone_, I thought.

Jasper and Rose were growling softly - Jasper because of Alice's emotional torment and Rose at the obvious threat Edward's future presented.

"What?! What's the numbskull going to do?" Rose challenged.

"Nothing!" Edward growled, his expression fierce, at the same time Alice whimpered, "The whole class? Edward!" She sobbed, as horrendous visions continued to assault her mind from all the ways his monster strategized getting to drain his singer.

"Wow, Eddie, didn't think ya had it in ya!" Emmett murmured, impressed. He cowered and put his hands up in surrender when Rosalie immediately turned her furious black gaze on him instead of Edward.

Jasper flinched and asserted, "We need to hunt. Now." His voice rang with authority as he stared at Edward expectantly, no room for argument in his tone. Edward nodded, the haunted look on his face again.

"The humans have noticed how upset you guys are, especially Bella," I mentioned, startling them and directing their attention to those around them. "Act like you're finishing up your phone call, Edward. You've obviously received some very bad news from whomever called you."

Edward looked at the phone he'd been holding up to his face as if he'd forgotten it was even there, then hastily acted like he was ending a call and slipped his phone back in his pocket.

"We should have a family meeting after y'all finish your hunt," I suggested with a smile.

Thinking I had just helped them 'prevent' a slaughter, they looked at me with new eyes.

"How'd you know?" Jasper asked.

"I'll tell ya at the meeting later," I replied, smirking. They all exchanged glances, but nodded in acceptance. They got up as a group, leaving the cafeteria, with me reminding them to move slowly and not so gracefully. Rose ignored me, until Alice pretended to accidentally bump into her enough to knock her off balance, but careful not make any excess noise in the collision. Rose growled and shoved her away, knocking her into Edward, who instinctively caught her. It was so much more normal looking than the way they'd started walking.

At my suggestion, they'd stacked all the 'leftover' food together on two of the trays with 'used' plastic utensils and napkins on top, so it wasn't as obvious none of them had eaten anything. They clustered together too, around Jasper and Emmett who were carrying the trays, making it harder to view the contents. They talked to each other in hushed human voices, so the humans around them could hear them talking but not quite make out what they were saying.

As they got closer to the trash cans, Emmett decided to get in the game and 'stumbled' over somebody's bag instead of simply stepping over it. He pitched forward, but 'caught' himself before falling, and tossed the tray and all its contents into the trash can from five feet away. "Three points!" he cheered, holding his arms straight up in the air, causing all the humans around him to start laughing.

"Emmett!" Rose scolded, trying to hide a smile.

"Ew! Now you're gonna have to reach in there and pick out the trays," Alice pointed out with a shudder.

Jasper smirked as he dumped his tray, banged it once against the side of the trash can, and set the two stacked trays on the end of the table where they belonged.

"Oh, gross!" Emmett whined, causing the humans to laugh louder. He reached in as if the can was full of toxic waste and lifted the three stacked trays between two fingers, holding them well away from his body.

Rose had taken a step back and had her hands on her hips, watching him. He set his stack of trays, covered with goop, on top of the other trays on the table. He looked at his messy fingers with disgust. "Don't even think about touching me," Rose warned.

"Aw, man!" he whined again. The humans were having a field day, loving this display of imperfection from the mighty Cullens. Jasper and Alice were laughing too, their arms wrapped around each other, and Edward was forcing himself to chuckle.

I knew they could hear the comments of the people around them, relating to them, how 'normal' they were currently appearing, no longer so perfect and untouchable. I knew Rose hadn't missed the "You tell him, girl!" and "Damn straight!" comments from some of the girls after she spoke, as well as the "Touch her!" and "Do it!" challenges from some of the boys.

Emmett wiped his fingers on the cleaning cloth the janitors had left there for wiping down the tables after everyone finished. He tried to put his arm over Rose's shoulder, but she stepped away, shaking her head. "No, go wash your hands first."

Emmett pouted, but Rose was firm. The humans were laughing and talking amongst themselves, amazed to see how 'tame' Em was, calling him pussywhipped. He didn't look quite as intimidating when pouting at his girlfriend like a little boy.

"Come on, Emmett, just go to the bathroom," Edward prompted. Emmett let his shoulders droop and headed out of the cafeteria with Edward, as if dejected. Rose smirked and followed them out, enjoying the whip cracking sounds and catcalls many were making, with Jasper and Alice hot on her heels.

I stayed behind for a minute to see what Bella's reaction was.

Lauren huffed, "I don't blame her. I wouldn't want anyone touching me with crap on their hands either."

Jessica giggled, "Unless it was one of the Cullen boys. Then I wouldn't care."

Lauren smirked, replying, "I know, right?"

Meanwhile, Angela reminded Bella of her name and offered to show her the way to Biology II. I drifted along behind them as they walked silently to class. Bella settled easily into the empty table she would've shared with Edward. Without him to confuse and distract her, the class was boring to both of us.

Mike promptly cornered her when it was over, not bothering to mention the absent Edward in his pursuit of the girl. Remembering that nothing else of interest would happen here today, thanks to Edward having left, I decided to go in search of the Cullens.

_Oh, shit, what if they left without me? How am I supposed to find my way to their house? _I suddenly thought. I hurried outside to the parking lot, drifting right through the closed door. I couldn't help but mentally squeal in delight as I did. _That was __**so**__ cool!_

Quickly scanning the parking lot, it was obvious there was no shiny, silver Volvo. Heading back into the office, I saw that all five of the Cullens had indeed signed out for the afternoon for a family emergency. Frowning, I wondered how I could get to them. It would take forever to walk there, if I even knew where to go. _Well it is a dream_, I figured, _maybe I can just teleport there._

Concentrating on my mental image of the description of the Cullen's house, I closed my eyes and focused on picturing it in detail. Once it seemed clear, I opened my eyes and found myself staring up at the house.

"Yes!" I cheered, clapping my hands. "This is awesome!"

I smiled evilly to myself, rubbing my hands together, as I realized I could now deliver quite a few home truths to my favorite vampires, and they couldn't do anything to stop me. _The truth hurts, baby_, I thought to myself. _But it also sets you free_.


	2. The Family Meeting

**The Family Meeting**

I saw Edward's Volvo beside the house and knew the kids had beaten me there, so Esme would know about me by now. I wondered, _How long will it take for Carlisle to get home? _I didn't really want to get started without him and doubted the others would want that either.

I stood there, contemplating the front door. _I can't knock, because my arm will go right through it, but it would be rude to enter their home uninvited. Should I just call out 'Knock, knock'?_

As I debated, I heard the crunch of gravel from a car zipping down the driveway at high speed. I had the irrational urge to dodge, even though I wasn't in the way, and the car would likely pass right through me if I were. The black vehicle sped by and stopped abruptly beside the silver one, perfectly aligned with it.

Carlisle got out of the car and looked at me expectantly, before smiling warmly and walking over to introduce himself. "Hello, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen, pleased to meet you."

He held his hand out for me to shake and out of habit I reached for it. His eyes widened as my hand passed through his instead of gripping it. I drew my hand back self-consciously.

"I'm … um … Specter," I replied, deciding not to share my real name.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow, but graciously chose to accept the obvious fabrication without challenge. "Well, Ms Specter, will you please join my family and me inside? We appreciate your assistance earlier and would like to get to know you better."

"Certainly, Carlisle," I answered nonchalantly. "I can't wait to get to know all of you better as well."

Smiling, I followed him inside, where Esme was patiently waiting in the foyer. Carlisle greeted her with a quick hug and kiss. Putting an arm around her shoulders, he turned to introduce her to me.

"Ms Specter, this is my wife Esme. Esme, this is Ms Specter. I'm sure the children have already informed you of the assistance she provided earlier."

Esme stepped forward and attempted to hug me, gasping in shock when her arms went through my body as if there was nothing there. I noticed Carlisle was watching the scene intently through wide eyes. Esme quickly returned to the security of his embrace, unsure of what to think.

"I'm a ghost," I explained apologetically.

"Oh!" she gasped again, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, looking up to Carlisle in consternation, her eyes questioning.

"In all my years, I've never encountered a ghost before," Carlisle admitted, narrowing his eyes, his gaze piercing. "Neither have the Volturi."

"To your knowledge anyway," I pointed out to him.

He frowned, "True, but it _is_ one of the things about which I specifically inquired."

I raised an eyebrow and challenged, "Perhaps, but there's other things out there that the Volturi have never encountered before either."

I started to bring up hybrid vampire children, but decided now really wasn't the time to tackle that subject. It would distract the family too far from the matter at hand, Edward's mate.

"Such as?" Carlisle questioned, crossing his arms over his chest, returning the challenge.

"Such as giant wolves running around La Push," I mentioned.

Both his eyebrows raised. "Indeed, I do believe the Volturi are unaware of the existence of the Quileute shape shifters. However, the shifters are all dead now."

"Correction. The previous generation of shifters is dead now. The current generation has just begun shifting," I warned.

"There are wolves in La Push currently?" Carlisle asked worriedly.

"At least one, soon to be more," I informed him.

"Who?" he wondered.

"Sam Uley."

Carlisle frowned and nodded. "Please, let's take this into the dining room with the rest of the family," Carlisle decided. "I know we all have questions for you, and that's the traditional place for a family meeting."

I smiled and followed him and Esme into the dining room, where the others were already waiting. "Would you mind?" I asked, pointing to the empty chair.

"Of course not," Carlisle responded, pulling out the chair for me. Then he paused and looked at me in confusion. "Are you able to sit on it?"

I looked at him in surprise. "I don't know, but I'm tired of standing, so I figure it's worth a try." I attempted to sit carefully and found myself sinking right through. I quickly caught myself before I fell.

Emmett laughed, and I pouted, "Well, this sucks."

"No, _**we**_ suck," Emmett joked. "_**That's**_ just frustrating, Speck."

I grinned and attempted to give him a fist bump, laughing with him as my fist passed through his.

The others smiled at our antics, but soon got serious again.

"So what are you?" Carlisle asked. "Are you really a ghost? How did you die?"

"I already asked her," Rosalie admitted. "She doesn't remember dying."

I pursed my lips in thought. "I don't think I'm actually dead. You've heard of out-of-body experiences, right? Well, I think this is one of those. You know, the Quileutes are supposedly shape shifters because one of their ancestors, Taha Aki, was a spirit walker and an evil tribe member took over his physical body while his spirit was away from it. Then he bonded his spirit with a wolf, sharing the wolf's body. So, I'm guessing I'm essentially a spirit walker. I'm sure my body is safe and sound on my couch in my living room, just where I left it."

They all exchanged glances then Alice shrugged and smiled at me. "Stranger things have happened, I'm sure. We certainly can't deny that you're here in spirit form and have way more knowledge than any human could or should."

"Yes, the knowledge you possess is more worrisome than your current lack of physical body," Jasper informed me. The others nodded, several of them still clearly suspicious of me and my motives.

"Look, I want to help you guys. I've had lots of dreams about your family and have grown to know and love you through the visions I've seen of your past, present, and future. Alice, you of all people have got to understand. Isn't that the way it was for you?"

She nodded slowly. "How'd you know?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Didn't I just say? I've had dreams about you talking about how it was for you."

All the vamps stared at me, then exchanged uneasy glances.

Emmett shrugged and posed, "Well, we already went through this once with the psychic half pint, so why shouldn't we add a know-it-all ghostie to the family tree?"

"I would love to be part of your family," I admitted.

"At least I know she won't put all my stuff in the garage while I'm out hunting because my room has the best view," Edward teased.

The others grinned, and Jasper ruffled Alice's hair when she huffed.

"Well, I want proof of your dream visions," Rose declared, not looking the least bit amused. "Why should we believe a word you say?"

I met her challenging glare calmly. "I know a lot of things Rosalie Lillian Hale. I know about Rochester and about the bear attack in Tennessee. I know about Vera's little boy with the brown curly hair and that Emmett believed you were an angel carrying him off to God." I smiled and winked at Carlisle. "I even know things about you guys you don't know about yourselves. I know about Mary Alice Brandon and why she woke up alone with no memories of her human life in Biloxi, Mississippi. I know she had a little sister and has a niece who's still alive."

Alice gasped and begged, "You know my past? Please tell me!"

I warned her sadly, "It's not a pretty story, sweet girl. Are you sure you wish to know?"

She nodded emphatically. "I'm sure it's not a fairy tale, or else I wouldn't be a vampire, right? I _need _to know. Not knowing is so much worse!"

"You had visions even as a human and were sent to a mental institution by those who were afraid. You weren't crazy, but your father had your mother murdered so he could marry another woman, and you were the only one who knew the truth, due to your visions. You attempted to report him, and he had you committed. Since you were a minor, it was easy for him to do so without giving you the chance to expose him to anyone who would listen to your accusations and recognize the truth of them. You were kept in a cell with no windows and suffered through shock treatments and other horrible 'cures' for the mental illness you didn't actually possess. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Do you want me to stop?" Silent tears were running down my cheeks, and my voice was breaking, seeing the distress my words were causing her and thinking about how she must have felt as a teenager, betrayed so badly by the one man who should've loved and protected her.

She shook her head, her eyes shiny with venom. She held in a sob and begged me to continue. I glanced around, seeing the love and compassion pouring from the other vampires toward their beloved psychic. I knew it was probably the only thing holding Jasper together as he soothed his mate, aching with her pain and longing to right the injustices done to her as a human child. I could see the extra horror in Carlisle's eyes and knew he was aware of just how terrible some of the treatments his daughter had endured really were.

"You were born the same year as Edward and changed roughly two years after him," I told her, giving her something not as painful to process.

"I'm 19," she whispered.

I nodded. "There was a vampire working there at the institution. He recognized your gift, knew you weren't really crazy, and befriended you. He tried to help protect you and care for you as best he could without exposing himself. You knew what he was though, thanks to your visions. One day you got a vision of another vampire hunting you. The other vampire was named James. You were his singer, your blood smelled better to him than any other humans' did. You told your protector and he changed you to save you from being killed by James. James was enraged that his prey got away, and he killed your sire in revenge. He knew you were changing, and he deliberately left you to wake up alone, caring nothing for you now that you were inedible."

"That's both irresponsible and illegal," Carlisle angrily growled. "Not to mention immoral."

I sighed and nodded, "It's a good thing he did though. Alice had her visions to guide her. If James had known of her gift in advance, he would've kept her and used her for his own purposes. He would've abused her and tortured her, forcing her not only to drink from humans, but to play games with them. He likes to torture his food physically, emotionally, and sexually, before eating it. He would've incorporated Alice and her gift into his games, forcing her to cooperate and torturing her for her defiance."

I knew Jasper understood better than any of them what means could be used to force vampires to do things against their will, and his eyes were haunted as he hugged his mate closer to himself. Some of his thoughts must have slipped, because Edward appeared more horrified than he did by the visions of killing a room full of children the day before.

The family gathered around Alice, showering her with their love and support, murmuring words of comfort. I waited silently for them to regroup and return to their seats.

Feeling emotionally exhausted, I sank into the chair behind me and rubbed my face with my hands, closing my eyes. Pulling my hands away and opening my eyes again, I saw my vampires staring at me curiously.

"How'd you do that?" Edward asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Do what?" I asked in confusion.

"Speck, you're sitting in the chair!" Emmett crowed enthusiastically, seeing my bewilderment.

With a jolt, I realized he was right. I looked down at myself now comfortably ensconced in my seat. "I don't know!"

"Are you solid now?" Rose snarled, looking like she hoped I was so she could kill me.

Emmett reached over to touch my arm, but his fingers went right through it instead, landing on the armrest on which my arm was somehow now resting. "Nope," he offered.

I held my hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I didn't mean to hurt her, Rosalie. You're the one who wanted proof of what I knew, and it just went from there."

"We don't know if you're telling the truth about her," Rose sneered. "You could be making all of that up, for all we know."

I shrugged. "I don't expect you to take my word for it. I know Alice will do her own research. Honestly, if I was going to make up a past for her, it would be one filled with kittens and unicorns and princess dresses. I know what it's like to be betrayed and damaged by someone who is supposed to love and protect you, someone who is supposed to have your best interests at heart and take care of you. I hate for anyone, especially a child, to have to suffer the way Alice did." I looked pointedly at Rose, communicating with her that I knew her past just as well as I knew Alice's and hated the pain she'd suffered just as much.

I sighed, "Frankly, I'm glad Alice doesn't remember the horrors of the years leading up to her human death. Becoming a vampire is the best thing that ever happened to her. Now she has two wonderful loving parents, three caring, understanding siblings, joy filled days of freedom, doing whatever her heart desires, and an adoring soul mate who consistently puts her wellbeing ahead of his own and always will."

"What about all the things she lost?" Rose instantly protested.

"What did she lose, Rosalie? There was no happy ever after in the cards for human Alice, if she hadn't managed to somehow catch the attention of not one, but two vampires. She was committed for life to a mental institution in the first quarter of the 20th century! She would never have even seen the sun again, much less been able to fall in love or have a family. She would never have seen her sister again, since her sister had been told she died the day she was committed. Her days and nights would've been filled with torture, rape, and abuse, solitary confinement, neglect, malnourishment, illegitimate, unscientific attempts at curing an illness nobody understood and she didn't even possess anyway, and forced sterilization, all at the hands of the human doctors and attendants there, until her body finally stopped fighting and granted her the sweet release of death. That was _common practice_ in these places at the time! How could that possibly have been better than the life she has now?"

"Thank you," Alice declared, smiling at me, drawing the attention of her horror stricken family members. "Thank you for putting it all into perspective for me and reminding me just how wonderful my life is. It's true my past is something of a horror story, but most of ours is. I'm glad I don't remember it, because that means I'm not traumatized by it, and I refuse to allow these revelations to drag me down now. I'm still glad I know the truth, because not knowing was worse. Now I can at least understand what led me here, and I'm glad it did, because I wouldn't trade the life I have now for anything."

Rose huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away, but didn't reply. Emmett's eyes were sad as he looked down at his mate, but he chose not to say anything.

_I'm going to teach that girl to appreciate her life if it kills me, _I thought to myself.


	3. Life's a Bitch, Then You Die

**Life's a Bitch, Then You Die**

_Rose, you really need to wake the fuck up_, I thought to myself, irritated as usual with her attitude. "I've got quite a bit to say to you, Rosalie Hale."

She raised her eyebrows, then narrowed her eyes. "I'm waiting," she challenged.

"Okay, Rose, you like to tell your story about how great your life was, how you were the beautiful little princess awaiting her storybook wedding to the wealthiest guy in town, ready to settle down behind the white picket fence, have a couple of babies and live happily ever after, right?" I began.

She nodded, her expression unchanging.

"Then everything went horribly wrong on one devastating night, when Carlisle made the wrong choice, the choice you never would have made if given the option, right?"

"Right," she instantly agreed. Carlisle sighed and hung his head.

"Bullshit!" I crowed. "Complete and utter bullshit!"

Carlisle looked at me curiously, while Rose glared at me and snarled, "What?!"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, let's look at the facts, shall we? Should he have let you die? Would death have been preferable to becoming this monster that you are?"

"Yes!" she instantly replied.

"Liar!" I countered. "If you truly believed that, you wouldn't have brought Emmett to Carlisle and begged him to change him. You would've let Emmett die, rather than cursing him with becoming the same kind of monster you hated being. You certainly wouldn't have carried his broken, bleeding body over 150 miles to 'save' him."

She frowned. "I was too selfish to let Emmett die."

"You made the _exact same choice_ for Emmett that Carlisle did for you. You cannot blame Carlisle's choice on the one hand and say it would've been better to let you die while condoning your own choice to have Emmett changed. It is the _exact same choice_," I insisted. "By choosing this life instead of death for Emmett, you proved once and for all that Carlisle made the right choice for you also. You can't have it both ways."

Rose huffed and chose not to acknowledge me. I laughed and shook my head. "That's okay, Rose, that's only the tip of the iceberg. The fact that you honestly believe you had a great life is the biggest joke of all. Of all the vampires in this family, you are one of the most bitter about what you are, yet you, like Alice, are one of the ones that gained the most. Let's play a little game of 'what if', shall we? You've always wondered if Carlisle was a little too hasty in changing you, if he could've saved you and kept you alive instead. Suppose he had. What would've happened?"

I could see I had her attention now, so I continued, "It's not too hard to imagine him being arriving just a few minutes sooner, racing you to the hospital at vampire speed, then setting your broken bones and stitching you back together. It would've been a long, slow road to recovery. Weeks in the hospital, then back at your parents' house. Do you really think your fiance would've been supportive of your recovery efforts, that his parents would've intended to go forward with the wedding even after you healed? Would you have reported him to the police as the one who assaulted you? If you had, would anyone have believed you?

Would his parents have bought your silence or paid off the police for a rich man's justice? Or would he have threatened you, come after you again, done it again until you really were dead by his hand? If not, you still would've been considered 'damaged goods' by him, his family, and most everyone else in town. If you did get pregnant from that night, there would have been no way of knowing which of the men was the father. How many of the judgmental people in town would've considered you a woman of loose morals as a result, even though none of it had been by your choice? Your parents' hopes and aspirations for you would've been ruined. Instead of being a way of helping them climb the social ladder, you would've become an embarrassment, a source of rumors, a social pariah. How long would you be their golden child then? What would that do to your father's job security, being a constant reminder of the King boy's fall from grace? Not to mention the effects on you of all the emotional trauma, the nightmares, and the guilt you would carry, on top of the loss of everything you'd ever wanted, all your dreams, hopes, and fantasies. Would you _really_ have wanted to survive that night as a human?"

All of them were staring at me, appearing sick and horrified. I knew the picture I'd painted wasn't an unrealistic one though. On the contrary, the reality would likely have been even worse. Royce could not have afforded for Rose to live through her ordeal and 'tell on him'. Even if he avoided criminal penalties, there still would've been some censor from the community for his behavior, despite the fact Rose would've gotten worse treatment from the sticklers and the gossips. Her life would've been a living hell from that moment forward. Without the protection of her virtue and her family, she would likely have ended up as a prostitute, or if she were lucky, perhaps married off hastily to a widower in the country with three or four young children he couldn't manage on his own. She'd have been up with the rooster, collecting eggs, milking cows, cooking meals, and cleaning house. It certainly wouldn't have been anywhere near the cushy life she'd imagined for herself as a rich man's trophy wife.

"Not a pretty picture, is it? So how about we simply go back a little further. Your friend Vera offered for her husband to escort you home that night. Let's suppose you wisely took her up on her offer and avoided the whole scenario that night entirely. Lucky you didn't get accosted by a drunken fiance in the alleyway at all. You had your picture perfect wedding one week later and became Mrs. Royce King, just like you'd always wanted. Sure your wedding night was painful and unpleasant, but that was a small price to pay to belong to the richest family in town.

It wouldn't take you long to learn about your husband's idea of a good time when he'd been drinking, Mrs. King. Of course, your society friends would notice the bruises the makeup couldn't quite hide, and sometimes you'd have to cancel an outing at the last minute due to a black eye or broken bone. Dr. Cullen would get to know the young bride quite well. She'd claim to be clumsy, but being smarter and more observant than she'd realize, he'd know the real truth she'd be hiding. Of course, he wouldn't dare say anything that would risk exposing himself to a human, so he could only lament about it to his wife and wish things were different.

You know how Esme's husband treated her, Rose. Royce would've treated you no better. Everyone would've known your husband beat you, but like they did with her, they would've blamed you, assumed you were 'provoking' him somehow. It's the way things were back then. It's possible he may have kept you to himself at first once he'd married you, but there's no guarantee of that. Since he proved willing to murder his fiance, he'd be just as likely to murder a young bride. So, your brutal gang rape and beatings would've only been delayed, not prevented, and it could've been so much worse."

I could see the question in her eyes, the challenge there. _Worse? How could've it been worse?_ I hadn't broken her yet, but I would. "If it had been delayed, you might have been pregnant at the time. You might have had to feel yourself losing the baby, feel the baby dying inside you, as you they laughed above you, knowing they were killing it. Or your might have given birth, had children with that monster. Royce was the true monster, not Carlisle, Rose. You might have had a little boy and a little girl, just like you always wanted, and tried to protect them from their father's wrath every time he got drunk. You might have tried to run like Esme, but the Kings were too rich and would've found you. They never would've let you keep their grandchildren hidden away from them.

You would've spent years cowering, wincing, flinching, taking every hit, every whim Royce could dish out to protect your son and daughter. You would've cried yourself to sleep every night looking at the bruises on your children, looking at their broken bones from the 'clumsiness' they supposedly inherited from your side of the family. You would've gladly turned a blind eye to the other women, glad for anything that got Royce out of the house and away from you and your children, allowing you all a few hours or days of peace.

But Rose the evil that lives in the hearts of men like Royce and the men he considered friends, it would've only been a matter of time. One night when things were particularly bad, perhaps when he'd gambled away too much money or gotten into a fight or messed with the wrong man's daughter, when he was really upset, you'd see true evil. Because then he wouldn't just be inviting his friends to beat and gang rape his wife, he'd be throwing in his daughter too, and you'd have to watch, Rose, and so would your son, helpless to stop it."

"Stop!" Esme shouted, venom tears in her eyes. I looked at her, my own eyes blank and haunted, my imagination too vivid for my own good. I knew a little too much about the evil lurking in the hearts of men and their willingness to hurt the children they should've loved and protected.

I sighed and held up hands in a gesture of surrender. "My point is that it can _always_ be worse. Yes, what happened to Rose was horrible. What happened to her was her _human_ life and is unfortunately a _normal_ human life. At least 25% of human females are sexually assaulted. Rose, contrary to your belief, your human life was awful! It was doomed to physical, sexual, and emotional abuse! You were entering into an abusive marriage to a man you didn't know or like, purely for monetary and social gain! Your parents were shallow, selfish people who cared only for social status and raised you to be the same way. If you'd lived through that night and returned home as 'damaged goods' with a bastard child growing in your belly, they'd have thrown you out on the street and disowned you without a second thought!

You now have parents who love you, a mate who worships the ground you walk on, siblings who support you, eternal youth, health, and beauty, and all the money you could ever spend. Why the _hell_ are you complaining? Do you have any idea how much you've hurt Carlisle with your snide comments all these years? Of course, that was your intention, to hurt him, because you were hurting over the loss of your childhood fantasy of white weddings and happy ever afters that you never would've gotten in the first place!

What about your mate? Do you have any idea how much you've hurt Emmett over the years with all your snide comments? You've made him feel like he's not good enough for you because he can't get you pregnant. Have you ever once thought about how much it hurt him to hear you talk about how wonderful your human life was, how much you wanted to marry and have children with the monster who raped and murdered you? To believe you would rather have lived as a human with Royce, who would've used and abused you without caring, than have forever with him and that nothing he could ever do would make him worthy of eternity in your eyes? That if you could turn back into a human tomorrow, you'd do it in a second, leaving him behind, abandoning him for an uncertain future and eventual certain death?

You think being human guarantees you children? Look at all the single women who choose not to have children without a father to help raise them, the barren women who desperately want children but whose bodies are incapable, all the women who have miscarried or whose children were stillborn, and all the women whose children have predeceased them. Being human most certainly does NOT guarantee you children, much less _healthy_ children. We didn't even touch on the subject of having children with lifelong illnesses, birth defects, handicaps, diseases, or disorders, or the horror of having to watch your child starving, dying, or being tortured right in front of you. Yet there are millions of human mothers that deal with any of those things on a daily basis. So, little Miss Whiny Pants, let's hear why your life as a vampire is so horrible again?"

All seven of them just stared at me with their mouths open, not saying a word.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

I figured they might need a little time to come to terms with the emotional wringer I'd just put them all through. Speaking of which, "Damn, Jasper, sorry. You've probably been going through hell with the emotions from all of us during this, haven't you?"

He shrugged, as if embarrassed by the attention. "I'm used to it."

I sighed heavily. "Just because you're used to it doesn't make it any more right of me to inflict it upon you."

"Every time I think you're a hardhearted bitch, you go and do something that shows you truly do care. I don't understand you," Rose murmured, looking at me speculatively.

I smiled and raised an eyebrow. "_I'm_ the hardhearted bitch?"

Her lips twitched. "Takes one to know one."

I grinned.

"Who do you think you are to talk to my Rosie like that?" Emmett growled protectively, pulling her closer to him.

"No, Em, she's right," Rose admitted. "I've been holding onto a dream that had no basis in reality. I've been blind to what I have while grieving over something that was clearly never meant to be for me. I love you, Emmett, more than anything. You _are_ worth it."

"I love you too, Rose, always have, always will," he replied, giving her a heartfelt, passionate kiss.

Jasper breathed a sigh of relief and smiled happily at the two of them.

"While we're busy discussing things that were never meant to be and waking up to reality," I drawled. "I think it's time to shine the spotlight on Major Whitlock over here."

"Oh, shit," he muttered, steeling himself for whatever it was I had to say.


	4. Major Wake Up Call

**Major Wake Up Call**

"Hmmm, I have an idea! How about we take the most powerful empath on the planet and put him in a building with hundreds of angst ridden teenagers, where he'll be constantly bombarded on all sides on a daily basis with feelings of: depression, loneliness, anxiety, frustration, anger, hatred, isolation, recklessness, invincibility, defiance, rebelliousness, jealousy, envy, worthlessness, insecurity, hopelessness, self-consciousness, self-loathing, egocentric vanity, boredom, self-doubt, stress, discomfort, fatigue, illness, pain, nervousness, competitiveness, apathy, suspicion, paranoia, regret, guilt, mischievousness, lust, desire, fear, terror, and spite, just to name a few.

Why the only torture comparable to that would be, say, putting him in a camp with 20 or 30 newborn vampires. Oh, wait, been there, done that. Talk about going from one hell to another, eh Major? Hey, at least he has his mate this time around, so it's not so bad, right?"

I looked at the vampires who were all looking from me to Jasper and back. Jasper, however was focusing solely on me.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," Carlisle apologized. "I never thought about how all those emotions would affect you."

Jasper shrugged, but before he could reply, I cut in with, "Oh, you haven't heard anything yet!"

All eyes were solidly on me again, so I continued, "Gee, I wonder why Jasper was having such a hard time fighting his bloodlust today. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with being in a room with hundreds of humans _feeling_ hungry and thirsty all at the same time, along with four thirsty vampires. Edward even thought about how much harder it was for him to resist the thirst when he heard Jasper thinking about it, how much hearing thoughts about Jasper's thirst added to his own thirst. Yet not one of you ever thought about how hard it must be for Jasper to have to _feel_ all of your thirst on top of his own, in addition to the humans' hunger and thirst, to absorb all of that and still manage to keep from _broadcasting_ it to the rest of you!"

Jasper's eyes widened in surprise, and he sat up straighter in his chair, while the rest of them looked at him in shock.

"Oh, Jasper!" Alice and Esme both exhaled sadly, reaching for him.

"Sorry, man, I never realized," Emmet apologized while Rosalie dropped her head in remorse.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes, and Carlisle wore an expression of extreme guilt. "Son, . . ." Carlisle began, at a loss for words.

"I want you all to go outside, for the sake of Esme's furniture, and for just two or three seconds, Jasper, I want you to project all the thirst you felt and held at bay while you were in that lunchroom at school today. This will answer the question once and for all for everyone whether you're truly the one with the weakest control of your thirst or if you've been carrying the thirst of other vampires and any nearby humans on top of your own all these years," I suggested.

They filed out, curious to know the answer themselves. Six ferocious growls later, Jasper and a thoroughly shaken Carlisle returned to the dining room to the accompaniment of trees crashing to the ground nearby.

"I'm so sorry I've underestimated you all these years, Son," Carlisle pleaded with Jasper. "Please forgive me!"

"Of course, Carlisle," Jasper responded easily, accepting Carlisle's hug. "You've always been supportive of me, and even I didn't understand how much my thirst was affected by my gift. I guess like Spec suggested, I was used to feeling it from the newborns and then from humans, and I just thought it was normal."

Carlisle shook his head and confessed, "I've personally never felt thirst that strong, not even that first month I starved myself as a newborn! I didn't know it was _possible_ to feel that much thirst! Everyone talks about my self-control, but I think for whatever reason, I've just never felt the thirst as strongly as other vampires. Maybe that's my gift? Reduced thirst? I know I wouldn't have been able to simply run away out of London if I'd felt anything like _that _when I awoke! All this time I had no idea why everyone else found it so difficult." He sighed, hanging his head in shame.

"I'm glad you didn't feel the thirst like the rest of us then, because you were able to prove it was possible to live a different way, that we didn't have to kill humans to survive. Your way of life has been a blessing for me, and if you'd become a human drinker like the rest of us, if you weren't there to lead us to the animal path, where would we be now? Think about what that would mean for our family and the Denali's. You gave us hope, a goal worth striving toward," Jasper reminded him.

Carlisle smiled, clasping his shoulder affectionately. "Thank you, Son. I'm blessed and honored to have you and all the other members of my family."

Edward shuffled into the room and joined them, stopping a few feet away and staring at his feet, unwilling or unable to make eye contact with them. "So, in other words, all the 'accidents' you've had over the years you've been living with us have been _our _fault, not yours. If we hadn't been so thirsty ourselves, you'd never have slipped, being able to handle your _own_ thirst just fine. Yet we looked down on you, blamed you, considered ourselves superior, and not one of us could've handled the level of bloodlust you carried today without acting, not even Carlisle, the one we've always considered the most self-controlled of us all. I'm sorry we never recognized it before. If anyone should've, I should've. I knew it always magnified _my_ thirst to hear the others thinking about their's, but I was only listening to one mind at a time. It never occurred to me you would be experiencing something similar only worse, since you'd be feeling it from all of us at the same time."

"He's right, Jasper," Rose agreed, coming in next. "I'm so sorry for all the times I blamed you for us having to move, when _we_ were the ones who pushed you over the edge in the first place."

"No problem, guys," Jasper murmured, hugging them both, uncomfortable with their guilt, regret, and remorse.

"Oh, Jasper, I should've realized it from all my visions of you when you were alone. I mean, you didn't even twitch in the diner full of humans where we met, and you'd been starving for over a month at the time," Alice whimpered, dancing over to comfort her mate. Esme was right on her heels, enveloping both of them in a warm hug, her apology wordless, but heartfelt.

"Damn, bro, that was horrible! I'd have eaten the whole school if I'd felt like that while I was there!" Emmett shouted as he came bounding back into the room. "That thirst was a hundred times worse than it was the two times I slipped."

"Thanks, Emmett, it really helps to know that," Jasper admitted, giving him a fist bump. "I think maybe a lot of the insecurity and self-doubt from all those teenagers rubbed off on me too. I hated feeling so weak, especially when I had always been so strong in the past. Knowing I really do have a lot of self-control actually makes it easier for me to want to try even harder to conquer my thirst completely."

"We'll all do our part too," Carlisle declared, looking pointedly at the others. "We'll hunt more often and not let ourselves get so thirsty."

"That's a good start," I conceded. "However, it's also a total waste of Jasper's time, energy, and talent to spend his eternity going to high school over and over again. He's a grown man who has commanded armies! Demoting him to the status of a minor child in the eyes of those with whom he associates on a daily basis and forcing him to endlessly endure boring repetitive lectures and mindless busywork decade after decade is demeaning and demoralizing. Your other children never really moved past high school in their human lives, but Jasper was living as a man for years before becoming a vampire.

He was a productive respected citizen, risking not only his own life to defend his home, family, and country, but making life and death decisions for _other_ grown men on a daily basis as an officer, leading his men into battle, knowing he was at least partially responsible for whether or not they survived to see another day. He accepted responsibility for the lives, health, and wellbeing of an entire city's worth of women, children, elderly, and injured, escorting all of them to safety away from the bombing. He didn't just go to work and earn a paycheck. He literally put his life on the line, being shot at and returning fire, seeing people he'd come to know and care about dying around him, helpless to save them, enduring the hardships of war for _years_. He may have been only physically 19 when he was changed, but harsh living experiences had matured him and forged him into a _man_, with a level of responsibility more appropriate for someone ten years his senior.

How would you feel if _you_ were the one sitting in high school year after year instead of being able to help people and save lives, Carlisle? Not college, not medical school, _high school_. How long could you endure the lack of purpose and respect, keeping your silence while constantly being condescended to by people who know less than you do, without losing your mind and sense of self? How could you expect that or want that for anyone else?"

"You make a valid point," Carlisle conceded, appearing concerned and deep in thought. The others were looking at Jasper with a whole new level of respect and understanding.

"Well, so far, your review of my faults has gone _much_ better than I expected," Jasper admitted, grinning.

I smirked in response. "I'm not quite finished with you, Major, but I wanted to get the whole thirst issue set straight as soon as possible."


	5. To Thine Own Self Be True

**To Thine Own Self Be True**

"Damn, Jasper, you're the man! Who knew?" Emmett cheered, making everyone chuckle.

Jasper grinned and leaned back in his chair, relaxed and happy.

Emmett turned to look at me, crossing his arms over his chest, and raising a brow. "Alright, Spec, lay it on me. C'mon, give me your best shot. I can take it."

I chuckled, "Oh, Emmy bear, you and Esme are the only ones I _don't_ have a need to shake. You two are awesome just the way you are."

Rose raised both her eyebrows, but smiled, and I saw I'd earned her respect. She gave me a slight nod.

"What? That's it? That's all you've got?" Emmett whined, throwing up his hands.

"You _want_ her to yell at you?" Edward asked, incredulously.

"Well, she's shocked the hell out of all of us with her revelations," Emmett began.

"Language, Em," Esme scolded.

I smirked as Em rolled his eyes and continued, "So, she's thrown all this life-altering stuff at Alice, Jasper, and my Rosie, so far, and considering how hard it is for us vampires to change, fresh perspectives aren't all that easy to come by, right? So why _wouldn't_ I want my opportunity? Hell, I know I'm awesome, but I'm not perfect, ya know, so I figure it's only fair that I get knocked upside the head with some fascinating piece of knowledge or insight that'll improve my outlook too."

He pouted, looking really put out that I didn't have something enlightening for him.

"Aw, poor Em," you sigh, fighting a smile. "Okay, buddy, you're right. You're proud of your strength, but deep down you worry that not having some extra gift or talent means you don't have as much to give to your family. You may not have a 'superpower', but you do have a special gift you share with your family that is essential to everyone's happiness. You have the gift of enthusiasm. The way you approach life, the joy you find in the simple things, the energy you radiate, the zestful way you do things, and the humor you express all help your family enjoy and appreciate their own lives.

You help ease the tension between family members every bit as much as Jasper does with his gift, encouraging camaraderie and forgiveness in your own way. You help Esme and Carlisle feel like real parents, not just adult companions of other young adults. You bring out everyone's more playful sides, helping them not take themselves or their existences too seriously. You make them laugh, you rev them up, you keep them from getting stagnant and staid. You make things fun. Their lives would be practically boring without you! You give Rosalie reasons to smile, to laugh, to feel pleasure and enjoyment in her existence. This family _needs_ you, Emmett, just the way you are. You help forge them into a family unit. You're part of the glue holding everyone together."

The others smiled affectionately at Emmett and expressed their agreement with my assessment. Rose's expression was downright soft as she squeezed his hand. Emmett though seemed floored, rendered speechless by my words.

"I'd tell you not to let the jokes and pranks go too far, but everyone in this family already knows how to put you in your place when you start getting out of hand, so I won't even bother," I drawled in amusement, causing everyone else to laugh out loud and Emmett's eyes to sparkle with a mischievous gleam.

"You and me, Spec," he promised with a grin. "are gonna make an awesome team. They won't even know what hit them!"

"No, Em! No haunting the humans . . . again!" Edward warned, closing his eyes and pinching his bridge of his nose. I could see his lips were twitching though at whatever Emmett was thinking.

"But I have my very own ghostie this time," Em pouted. "It's only fair."

Carlisle and Esme exchanged a look of long-suffering amusement, Alice and Jasper attempted to hide their grins, and Rosalie simply patted his hand and kissed his cheek.

"What about Carlisle?" Rose asked curiously, resting her head on Em's shoulder, deftly changing the subject.

I winked at her, then turned to him and smiled again. "Carlisle, I love ya buddy, I do, but you need to step up and be the father and leader you claim to be. Edward and Alice have gifts that are immeasurably helpful to this family, but neither one of them should ever be the one making the important decisions for you about what is best for your family. You need to do what you know in your heart is right, not be swayed to do things or not do things you'll later regret by someone who is too overwrought to think logically or rationally. If you have to listen to one over the other, please listen to Alice.

Edward is a 17 year old boy who never had a day's trouble in his human life. He was a momma's boy from a rich family, more interested in war than girls, who never had to grow up and face the real world until he was already dead. He has no concept of love and loss, no understanding of faith or religion, and is clueless about compromise and shades of gray. He has no life experience on which to draw to make decisions about leading your family in one direction or another. He is the first you turned, yes, but allowing that to give his opinion more weight over others in your family with more wisdom and experience is foolish and hurtful for everyone.

When Edward falls in love, he is going to need some serious help, because he has absolutely no idea how to talk to a woman, much less how to treat her right. His only idea of how to love a woman is based upon his faded memories about the relationship between his mother and father, which is totally bogus, because it's not even real. He only knows the interactions he was allowed to witness as their child, and even that is tempered by the change. He thinks his gift of seeing only the most superficial surface thoughts of individuals, both human and vampire, gives him insight into people and relationships, which is total bullshit. He has no idea how to think past his own needs and wants to take his partner's needs and wants into account. He is a mere inexperienced child who thinks he's a wise old man."

Carlisle was smiling and eyeing me with interest. "You said, '_when_ he falls in love'. Do you know something?"

I nodded. "Indeed I do. I know who and where Edward's mate is. I also know he will screw it up royally and put her and your entire family in danger of death and worse multiple times if he's allowed to do things his way. If you take a 'hand's off' approach and allow him to make the decisions regarding her, like you normally would for any other vampire who just found his mate, as if he is a responsible adult of mature years and not a scared 17 year old child experiencing feelings he doesn't understand for the first time ever, then your family will be in several fights for your lives, including against a newborn army, will become enemies of the Volturi, and will be looking over your shoulders for the rest of your existence." Carlisle's eyes were wide with fear, Edward's were resentful, Esme's were hopeful, Jasper's were determined, Alice's were thoughtful, Emmett's were excited, and Rose's were hatefully focused on Edward.

Then I dropped the bomb, "All because a scared little boy couldn't handle falling in love with a human."

"A _human_?!" Rose snarled. "No fucking way!"

"_Language_, young lady!" Esme growled. Rose sullenly looked away.

"Ah," Carlisle murmured in sudden understanding, believing he now knew why there would be so much conflict.

"Edward, you dog!" Emmett cheered.

"She'll have to be changed immediately," Jasper spoke calmly, nodding to Carlisle.

"No! No way!" Edward shouted. "I would _never_ damn another to this existence."

Esme gasped, but before she could say anything I jumped in with, "And _that _right there, Edward, is _exactly_ why your family and your mate would be in danger for the rest of eternity. It wouldn't stop your mate from becoming a vampire. That will happen regardless, because humans and vampires alike will keep coming after her to kill her while she's human, but _your_ actions in trying to prevent it from happening will lead to huge amounts of suffering, pain, and torment for yourself, your mate, and your family. Not to mention that it would lead to her meeting the Volturi as a human and to the Volturi coming after your entire family. Is that what you want, you stubborn, irrational deluded child?! Grow up and join the real world!"

Rose hit him on the back of the head while Jasper glared at him and Esme sobbed.

"I'm serious, Carlisle," I continued, meeting and holding his gaze. "Edward will attempt to make some of the stupidest decisions ever out of fear and self-loathing, and if you make the mistake of supporting those decisions, believing he has the slightest clue what he's doing, then your entire family will pay for it. He will hurt his mate in nearly unforgivable ways making unilateral choices regarding her future that have no basis in anything she actually wants or needs. Because Edward doesn't think he deserves the love and affection of his mate, he will deliberately drive her into the arms of another guy, a violent unstable guy who will use her compassion for others against her, manipulate her into doing things against her will, and will even physically and sexually assault her when she doesn't return his romantic feelings and intentions."

Rose and Esme both gasped, twin looks of horror on their faces. Edward dropped his head, appearing frustrated and ashamed, running his fingers through his hair and tugging on it. Emmett was troubled, while Alice and Jasper both looked determined. Carlisle pulled Esme closer to him, wrapping his arm around her to comfort her, but didn't look away from me. Finally, he nodded, an unspoken understanding passing between us, allowing me to take a deep breath and relax, knowing he would listen to me.


	6. A Soul is a Terrible Thing to Waste

**AN**: Forcing someone to kiss you against their will _is_ legally sexual assault. Yes, Edward and Jacob both have positive qualities, and Bella is just as much as fault as they are, but I'm working on shock therapy for a reason. Edward has to get over the whole 'soulless monster' deal before he can move forward with anything else.

**A Soul is a Terrible Thing to Waste**

"You see what I mean?" I asked Carlisle. He nodded solemnly. "It's like father, like son. Carlisle first met Esme when she was 16. He felt like she was special, but he thought she was too young and had her whole human life ahead of her. He didn't feel like he deserved her and didn't want to condemn her to life as a vampire. So he left her. He left her to be married off to a violent unstable man she didn't love who not only physically and sexually assaulted her, but beat and raped her. She suffered for years unbeknownst to Carlisle, who'd left her behind and never looked back. The human life he'd wanted for her was so awful she ended up trying to kill herself."

Esme hid her face in Carlisle's chest and he watched me sadly, his eyes haunted. Edward looked at me in confusion, while the others kept looking back and forth between the three of us. "She felt the pull when she was 16, just like Carlisle did. She never forgot him or the way she felt during their one brief encounter, carrying that memory through ten years of pain and misery. Carlisle could have chosen to stay instead of run away. He could have chosen to court her. It would've been perfectly acceptable for a prominent single doctor in his twenties to court a young lady of her age in that time period. Her parents would've been happy to accept his suit. He could've married her after a few years of courtship, letting her live as a human until she reached an age he was comfortable changing her. They would've ended up in the same place they are now, except she would've had love and happiness for those ten years instead of pain and misery. Knowing what you know now, if you could go back in time, would you make the same choice again? Would you abandon your mate to her fate or would you give her a happy life at your side? Don't let Edward make the same mistake you did. His reasons aren't any more valid than yours were."

I didn't say it, but I couldn't help thinking that Esme could've had a hybrid child with Carlisle if he would've courted her as a human instead of running away. He could've given her what she always wanted. Of course, with the lack of knowledge of what to expect, it likely wouldn't have turned out well, but who knows? If anyone could've pulled it off, it would've been Carlisle.

"I won't," Carlisle replied seriously, looking down at his wife cradled in his arms.

Edward appeared troubled, lost in thought. I wondered what Carlisle and Esme were thinking, if they were both imagining how things could've been different for them if only Carlisle had accepted the pull and claimed her the first time they met.

"Alright, Edward, it's time for your major reality check now. You're just as delusional as Rose was, if not worse."

"I am not!' he immediately protested.

"Yes, you are. Look at you. You basically just said you think Esme is a soulless monster, damned to the pits of hell for never-ending torment, because she's so evil and heartless."

He jumped to his feet, growling at me, and baring his teeth, dripping venom. "How dare you?! I would never say that about my mother!"

"You most certainly did!" I insisted. "You said you'd 'never damn someone to this existence'. You claim to be a soulless monster. If _you_ are, then Esme and Carlisle are as well. They are vampires too. By saying vampires are inherently evil, you're placing Esme and Carlisle on the same level as Hitler, Royce King, and Charles Evenson."

He sat back down, frowning heavily. "I speak only for myself."

"Fine, so _you're_ an evil soulless monster who is damned to hell once you're finally turned to ashes?" I asked.

He nodded. Esme and Carlisle looked at him so sadly, but Jasper simply frowned and looked away. Rose was watching me curiously, waiting to see what I had to say, and keeping Emmett quiet for me.

"Did you have a soul when you were human?"

He nodded again.

"So what happened to it? Since you don't have it now, where did it go?"

His eyes widened, and his mouth dropped. "Um, …"

"If it went to heaven, then you've got nothing to complain about, right?"

His brows furrowed. "What if it didn't? What if it went to hell?"

"Were you such a bad human then? Did you deserve to go to hell?"

He shook his head. "No, but then I became this."

"Your human mother asked Carlisle to change you into this. Do you think she would've damned your soul to hell? Do you think she would've asked Carlisle to do that if she thought it would damn you?"

His eyes opened wide and he stared at Carlisle, then back at me. "No, of course not, but she didn't truly know what he was. She just knew he was different."

I shrugged, countering, "Gifts are genetically related. Your mate has a gift and her father has a similar one but slightly different. If she had a daughter, the daughter's gift would be related but different as well. You're a mind reader. How do you know your mother didn't read Carlisle's thoughts when he touched her and know _exactly_ what he was and how he could help you?"

All of them were staring at me in shock now.

I shrugged again. "I don't know if that's true, but it's a possibility. Look, the fact is, you're limiting God, and your arguments aren't even based on Biblical principals. So you're not human anymore. Why do you think God's words no longer apply to you? You've transformed, like a caterpillar into a butterfly. You went through the metamorphosis, like the time spent in a cocoon, and when you came out of it, you were markedly different. Caterpillars are very different from butterflies, but both are still God's creatures, both still are part of nature.

Do you think butterflies soar through the air looking down at the caterpillars inching their way across the ground and lament about their pasts, wishing they could just be caterpillars again? Do you think they look at the eye spots on their wings and think about what horrible monsters they are now that the birds that ate their brothers and sisters are afraid of them? Do you think they wish they could go back to eating leaves like they did as caterpillars and think they must be damned because they have to live on nectar instead?"

All of them shook their heads, fascinated.

"So why are all of you wasting the gift God gave you by lamenting over the past and wishing you could be caterpillars again? Yes, I'm aware of the evil vampires can do. I'm aware of the darkness in your souls. Well, guess what? It's directly related to the evil humans can do and the darkness in human souls. It's just more obvious to you guys now. You all know the difference between right and wrong. You have the knowledge of good and evil. You have the choice every day, every minute to choose to do what's good and right or what's wrong and evil. Just like humans do. That's the whole definition of a soul, Edward. That's the second death the Bible describes. Animals can't choose between right and wrong, good and evil. They react purely on instinct and what they are taught. They can't make choices and decisions for themselves. That's what sets us apart. That's our free will, the ability to choose. That's why we will one day face judgment.

Evil humans become evil vampires. Good humans become good vampires. Most humans are neither good nor evil, but somewhere in between. Thus, most vampires are the same, falling on the spectrum between good and evil, based on what they were as humans."

I could see I had their full attention. I looked at Jasper, and he dropped his eyes. I rolled mine. "We are defined by our choices, not our circumstances. We all do what we have to do to survive. It's what we do when given a choice that defines who we really are. Jasper, look at you now. That's all that matters, in God's eyes. The choices of the past are forgotten."

He frowned heavily and shook his head. "No, that can't be true. I was. . . I did . . ."

"Jasper!" I interrupted. "Ezekiel 18:21-23 _If a wicked person turns away from all the sins they have committed and does what is just and right, that person will surely live; they will not die. None of the offenses they have committed will be remembered against them. Because of the righteous things they have done, they will live. Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live? _

Who are you to argue with the word of the Lord? Do you think he places you on the same level as Maria, who knows there's a different way of life yet chooses to stay there and make life a living hell for hundreds of other vampires before killing them in cold blood and sentencing thousands of humans to a violent death? Is there a difference in God's eyes between you and a vampire who 'plays with his food', torturing humans physically, sexually, and emotionally, before finally granting them the mercy of death? Do you or do you not know the difference between right and wrong and actively choose to do that which you know is right?"

He stared at me open mouthed, then slowly nodded, relaxing back in his seat. I turned to stare at Edward, who appeared overwhelmed. In my peripheral vision, I could see that Carlisle was beside himself with joy. "Well?" I asked, looking at Edward expectantly.

"Maybe . . ." Edward stalled, looking down at his hands.

Oh, please, the broken butterfly," I muttered. "We'll come back to you. We have more important things to discuss than your inability to grasp the obvious."

He ducked his head, embarrassed while Rose and Jasper smirked, Emmett laughed, and Alice winked at me. "Thank you," Alice mouthed at me, laying her head on Jasper's shoulder. He smiled down at her affectionately. I smiled at both of them.

"I really like the butterfly analogy," Rose admitted, smiling at me. "It makes sense to me, makes me feel like maybe I'm not so unnatural after all."

Emmett smiled down at her happily before giving me a mock frown. "I don't know, butterflies are kinda girly."

I laughed. "They're actually pretty awesome creatures, Emmett. I'm assigning you butterfly research as homework so you can figure out which species you most resemble. How's that?"

"Hey, no fair!" he whined, causing the others to laugh.

"What's holding you back, Edward? What aspect in particular makes you think God hates you?" I asked, truly curious.

"Well, to use the Bible, as you did, how about the fact we drink blood. God made it clear that was forbidden. _Leviticus 17:10-12 I will set my face against any Israelite or any foreigner residing among them who eats blood, and I will cut them off from the people. For the life of a creature is in the blood, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; it is the blood that makes atonement for one's life. Therefore I say to the Israelites, "None of you may eat blood, nor may any foreigner residing among you eat blood." _It doesn't really get any more clear than that."

"So don't hunt in Israel. Seems simple enough."

He rolled his eyes at me, and I sighed, "Look, Edward, even the Orthodox Jews in Israel don't use blood sacrifice for atonement anymore. They use fasting and prayer instead. The Christians believe the blood of Jesus was the ultimate atonement. There are plenty of creatures in nature that survive on the blood of other creatures, enough to prove that they are part of God's plan, even if humans aren't terribly fond of them. There are leeches, mosquitoes, fleas, horseflies, and vampire bats to name a few. Beyond that, most if not all animal predators consume blood in addition to flesh as well. God has no problem at all with animals consuming blood. The truth is, blood is not healthy for humans to consume, and the fact is, you're not human.

One more scripture for you. Ezekiel 39:17-19 _"Son of man, this is what the Sovereign Lord says: Call out to every kind of bird and all the __**wild animals**__: 'Assemble and come together from all around to the sacrifice I am preparing for you, the great sacrifice on the mountains of Israel. There you will eat flesh and __**drink blood**__. You will eat the flesh of mighty men and __**drink the blood of the princes of the earth**__ as if they were rams and lambs, goats and bulls—all of them fattened animals from Bashan. At the sacrifice I am preparing for you, you will eat fat till you are glutted and __**drink blood till you are drunk. At my table you will eat your fill of horses and riders, mighty men and soldiers of every kind,' declares the Sovereign Lord. **_Clearly God doesn't mind the wild animals drinking blood. Sure sounds like he's preparing a feast for werewolves and vampires though, doesn't it?"

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully, while Edward sat staring blankly, lost in thought.

"I also want to point out that I could've easily quoted only the last two lines and without the reference to the wild animals, it would've given a very different impression. By themselves, those two lines could've easily been used to 'prove' the existence of vampires. That's why I'm always suspicious of Biblical quotes given out of context and used to 'prove' an argument. In this case, I know all of you have read the Bible and have perfect memories, so you'd know the context, but you likely never considered the meaning of the words in this way. By the way, one of my favorite quotes to use as an example of the danger of quoting out of context is '_With men it is impossible_'. That's part of Matthew 19:26. I can use that to 'prove' anything I want, such as 'I like to have intelligent conversations, but_ with men it is impossible_.'"

"Hey!" Emmett protested, pouting, while Rose and Alice giggled and even Esme chuckled. Carlisle simply smirked and Jasper winked at me, knowing I was just messing around with them.

"You've given me a lot to think about," Edward admitted.

"Hallelujah!" I crowed, lifting both arms straight up above my head, causing the rest of them to laugh. Even Edward cracked a small smile.

Relaxing back, I gave them all a wide grin. "Besides, if the blood is what bothers you so much, don't you think it's about time you worked on creating synthetic blood? I mean, humans have been working on that project for years already. For a species that claims super intelligence, you guys are awfully slow. I can't believe you guys aren't selling that stuff by the bottle at Walmart by now for all the nomads to buy. Sheesh, people, do I have to think of everything for you?"

I laughed at the seven shocked expressions presented to me now, waiting for them to recover enough to respond.


	7. Useful Inventions Revamped

**Useful Inventions Revamped**

"Synthetic blood? Would that work?" Jasper asked, looking between Alice, who was lost in visions and Carlisle, who appeared deep in thought.

"Do you think it could?" Edward asked hopefully.

"Aw, where's the fun in that?" Emmett complained.

Rose smacked his arm, explaining, "We could be normal! It would be like drinking a soda." She grinned at the idea.

"Not to mention all the lives it would save," Esme pointed out to the two of them.

"Well, yes, of course, that too," Rose quickly added.

"Of course it would work," I declared. "Humans are already growing spare body parts inside of pigs and cloning sheep. You vampires are the ones behind the times. If you actually put your minds to it, it shouldn't take you too long to figure out what makes some blood taste better than others and which aspects affect eye color. You ought to be able to make designer blood labels to appeal to different tastes and possibly to cause different eye colors too. You know, Carlisle, I know you enjoy working with humans, but if you really wanted to save lives, you could do so much more for humanity working in a research laboratory than in a hospital.

All of you waste your time taking up space in high school, doing nothing more than giving the humans inferiority complexes and unrealistic expectations of relationships and beauty ideals. You should be putting your considerable intellect to good use solving some of the issues the world is facing.

There are so many things you could do differently. You talk about wanting to fit in, wanting to blend in with the humans, but is that really what you want? Because you don't act like it. You wear designer clothes that others in the community can't possibly afford. Designer clothes, by their very nature, are supposed to be noticed by others, to call attention to those wearing them. If they didn't, they wouldn't be very effective at advertising their designer, would they?

Yellow eyes are better than red, but are still not a human color. Why don't you wear contacts to cover them? Sure contacts are uncomfortable and are quickly dissolved by the venom, but instead of making excuses, why not simply make better contacts - ones designed to be worn by vampires?

Your cold skin gives you away. They've made hand warmers for decades for hunters to use. They have chest warmers too. You just open them up and apply them to your skin and they're good for 8 hours or so. Why not keep a couple of hand warmers in your pockets and wear a chest warmer or two so your skin will be warm when others touch you?

You complain that you can't stay in one place for too long because you don't age, and I'm sure the new girl wasn't the first to note your inhuman beauty. The special effects guys in Hollywood have been dealing with that kind of thing for decades. Does your pride prevent you from adding a bit of graying around the temples, a few laugh lines around the eyes, maybe some freckles or sun spots to alter your appearance? With the right make-up you can look every bit as human or as old as you want to look. With your speed it wouldn't take all that long to apply on a daily basis either. You don't have to stand out with unblemished skin and no signs of aging. That's a choice you make by not doing something about it.

Speaking of make-up, have you tried using sunscreen? Your skin only sparkles in direct sunlight, which means it's reflecting the light rays. There has to be some kind of foundation, cover up, sunscreen, or other lotion that will render your skin non-reflective. I mean, really, have you even tried any of those things yet?"

"Holy Crow! She's right!" Alice exclaimed excitedly, bouncing in place. "We're going to the beach!"

"I love her. I officially love her," Rose whispered, looking at me, her eyes welling up with venom.

I grinned and blew her a kiss. "I love you too Rosie, baby."

She and I laughed together, and Esme smiled fondly at the two of us.

"I have so many ideas!" Carlisle announced, nearly as excited as Alice. "I need to start gathering samples."

"I want to help," Edward offered, his expression determined and hopeful. "If we could drink synthetic blood . . . ."

"I'll help too!" Rose chimed in eagerly.

"As will I, in whatever capacity I can," Jasper agreed, so lighthearted he almost looked like a different guy than the one I'd first observed in the cafeteria.

"I'm working on the make-up division. You can help me, if you'd like, Esme," Alice decided.

"I'd love to help you, sweetie," Esme concurred.

"Not me. I'm gonna play with the ghostie instead!" Emmett declared.

I laughed. "Nah, you need to go do that butterfly research, Em. I need to go check on some other things and get back to you guys."

"Aw, you're no fun," Emmett complained.

"Yeah, yeah. See ya later, guys."

They all waved and wished me the best, seeking reassurance I'd be back again later.


	8. Informed Consent

**Informed Consent**

I had thought long and hard about the wolf problem and wondered if those in the supernatural world could see me. I could talk to Sam, but the person I really wanted to talk to was Leah. She was the person most affected by the set of events that occurred and one of the only ones to not receive any kind of happy ever after. _How fair is that?_

But how could I talk to her, if I couldn't be seen by humans? Would the wolf genes she carried be enough to let her see me? I could only try and see what happened. I'd already learned I could teleport, if I put my mind to it.

The research I'd done on the characters showed Sam was only a year older than Bella, having been born in 1986, while she was born in 1987. He'd turned into a wolf his senior year of high school and been eventually joined by Jarred and Paul before he ever imprinted on Emily. He'd stayed with Leah for months after turning into a wolf, before he'd clapped eyes on Emily again, for the first time since the gene was activated. So if Bella was in her junior year, then Sam was in his senior year now. He'd only been a wolf for a short time and probably didn't even have his fellow wolves with him yet.

Of course, that meant the Cullens had been there for over two years before he shifted. _What had caused him to suddenly change after several years? _The proximity of vampires did seem to have something to do with it, but considering wolves later shifted much younger, I was guessing it wasn't the proximity of the vegetarians that were the problem. Someone else had come to the area - human drinkers that were either passing through or were friends with the Cullens. I wondered if the shifting of Paul and Jarred were related to the visit of Peter and Charlotte that was due in just a few weeks. The timing would be right. If so, then the Cullens were only partially to blame.

I knew from the books that the number of vampires in the vicinity did correlate to the number of shape shifters activated. The problem was that the vicinity included the area as far away as Seattle, an area the Cullens didn't even claim as territory as far as other vampires were considered. It was Victoria's actions in Seattle and her forays towards Forks that resulted in the activation of so many of the wolves Twilight fans knew by name. That made much more sense than some belated reaction kicking into effect after the Cullens had already left town.

I focused my mind on locating Leah Clearwater and upon opening my eyes found myself in front of a small, well-kept house in an older neighborhood. The house was quiet, and I drifted through the door to look around inside. I didn't snoop much, but could tell I was in the house of a married couple with a son and daughter, according to the pictures on display. The daughter was a teenager and her brother was several years younger, still a pre-teen. I remembered that Leah was actually the same age as Bella, also born in 1987, so she would've been a junior just like Bella right now. It didn't take long to determine that nobody was home.

_Why did I show up here if she's not here? _I wondered. Looking out the window I saw and heard a car pull up out front. The girl from the pictures got out of the passenger side in a huff.

"Why won't you tell me where you're going or what you're doing?" she demanded angrily. "I think I've been more than understanding over the past few months, but your behavior is really out of line! Tell me the truth, or you on drugs?"

"No, Leah, I've already told you," the driver sighed, rubbing his face, clearly frustrated. "It's nothing like that."

"Oh, yeah? You think I haven't notice all the extra muscles you've suddenly gotten? I know for a fact you don't spend that much time at the gym! I'm not the only one who's noticed. I'm not an idiot and neither is my mother. Why are you taking steroids, Sam? You quit the football team. Or did you get kicked off once they figured out your little secret?"

"Look, I don't have time for this nonsense," Sam growled, shaking his head. "I've got more important things to worry about."

Leah's expression quickly changed from angry to sad. "It's obvious you're in some kind of trouble. Why won't you let me help you?"

Sam huffed and shook his head again. "I can't, alright. It's not what you think, but it's not something I can talk about either. It's tribal business, okay? I'm working for the tribe."

"You're not even out of high school yet! This isn't right! I'm going to talk to my dad about this," she protested.

He rolled his eyes. "Sure, you do that. I love you Lee-lee, but I've gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure, fine," she mumbled, slamming the door shut and walking toward the house.

I flashed over to the street corner and began walking toward Leah's house, wanting to know if he could see me. He watched her walk toward the house, then quickly pulled away from the curb, driving toward me. He looked right at me, and I waved. He nodded his head as he eyed me suspiciously, slowing down as he got close.

"You lost?" he asked.

I smiled and shook my head. "No, was visiting the area with some friends and wanted to be alone, so I decided to take a walk through the neighborhood to work through some of my thoughts."

"Okay then," he replied, losing interest now that he had a reasonable explanation for the pale unknown human walking the street of the exclusively native neighborhood. He drove away, but our exchange had caught Leah's interest, delaying her entrance into the house.

"Hey, could I please ask you a few questions?" I called to her. I noticed Sam looking at me in his rearview mirror and stayed where I was, waiting for Leah to decide whether or not to talk to me. Deciding I was nonthreatening, Sam turned at the end of the road and continued on his way.

Leah sighed, muttering 'stupid tourists' under her breath and pointed to the west. "The beach is about a third of a mile that way."

I nodded and replied. "I know. That wasn't what I wanted to ask. I wanted to talk a little about your tribe's history, if you don't mind?" I was stalling for Sam to be out of hearing range. After that question, I heard his car accelerate. Obviously, he'd decided I was simply a curious tourist and nothing to worry about in regards to his girlfriend.

Leah made a face and shrugged. "I'm not really into all that. I can give you an address and directions of where to go to ask your questions though. Our resident historian will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have."

I smirked, knowing Sam was now out of hearing distance. "Actually, Leah, I wanted to talk to you about Sam. I think it's only fair you know what's really going on with him."

Her eyes widened, and her stance became aggressive. "What? How would you know?"

"May I come inside? This isn't really a conversation you want to have in front of witnesses."

Leah growled, but nodded, turning stiffly to lead the way into the house. As soon as we were in the living room, she tossed aside her bookbag and whirled to face me.

"What do you know and how do you know it?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

"Relax, he's not cheating on you," I began, knowing that would be the first thing on her mind when being confronted by another woman. She relaxed slightly, but not much, barely nodding to acknowledge my words. "Somewhere in your subconscious you already know what's happening, but your logical mind is rejecting it as impossible. You know the legends of your tribe. Your dad hasn't been remiss in telling you about the protectors of your tribe, the young men who shape shift into giant wolves to fight against the Cold Ones, the vampires. Your mother is overrun with patients now that Dr Cullen works at the hospital in Forks. You know your parents believe the Cullens are vampires, yet you reject that knowledge as the superstitious ramblings of a bunch of old folks. You know you are descended from all three of the last known tribal shifters. Your parents are expecting your brother to shift when he gets older. Sam is just the first to shift in this generation. You've felt how hot his skin is now, seen how fast he grew, how strong he is."

Leah was staring at me, her mouth open, as if I had two heads. "You're insane! How do you even know about our legends? We're not supposed to share them with the 'pale faces'."

"I know a lot of things. Luckily for you, I'm supernatural myself, so it'll be easy to prove that I'm speaking the truth. All you have to do is touch my hand," I told her. I held out my hand to her.

She looked at me skeptically for a few moments before reaching out to grasp my hand. "Holy shit!" she gasped when her hand passed right through mine, jerking her hand back and then trying again. "What the hell _are_ you?"

"I'm a spirit walker, like your tribal ancestor. I'm away from my physical body and haven't taken up residence in any other. The only reason you can see me is because of your own supernatural genes. Your neighbors wouldn't be able to see or hear me. Most humans can't," I explained. It sounded like a good explanation to me.

She backed away and sank down onto the couch. "Wow. I don't know what to say."

I shrugged. "That's okay. The fact is that your parents both know what's going on with Sam, but Sam has been forbidden to tell you. How can a relationship flourish when one party has to keep something so significant hidden from the other? I think it's only fair for you to be able to make an informed decision on the matter, especially since you're the one who has been and will be hurt from all the secrecy.**"**

"Exactly!" she agreed. "I already know the legends, like you said. How hard would've it have been for him to prove the supernatural was real like you did just now? I certainly would've believed him if I'd seen him turn into a wolf with my own eyes."

I smiled. "He was probably afraid you'd run away screaming. Supernatural guys are kind of sensitive about that sort of thing, fearing they're monsters."

"Whatever!" Leah remarked, dismissing that concern with a wave of her hand. "I think it's awesome actually."

"Well, there's good news and bad news. I know you're still young, but I'm going to give you full disclosure, Leah. You're going to need to make some really hard decisions now about what you want, what you need, what you think is right, and what you think is best in the long run. The decisions won't be easy. They will take days, possibly weeks, months, or even years to decide. You'll cycle through emotions of fear, anger, grief, loss, hope, love, hate, and many others. I don't really know what's best in the long run. What's good enough? I just know what isn't good or right, which is keeping you in the dark and letting it all smack you in the face after the fact when you have no control over any of it, so I came to prevent that."

She stared at me, frowning. "Well. . . .that's, um, ominous."

I nodded and sighed. "Yep. It's not good. So, I'm just going to lay it all out for you. Sam is a wolf. You carry that same wolf gene. Depending on how things go, you will become the first female wolf in the tribe. When in wolf form, the wolves' minds are linked, they share thoughts and memories, including whatever they did the night before. There's no privacy. Just thought I'd warn you up front about that. I know how to speed up the process if you decided you want to become a wolf. As long as you're a wolf, you're fast, strong, healthy, a rapid healer, don't age, and can kill vampires. You also don't have a cycle, can't have children, and have to be careful of your temper because you could accidentally hurt someone you love if you shift while too close to a regular human. Once you settle down and stop shifting, your body will restart its normal processes and begin aging again."

She nodded, giving me her full attention. I continued, "However, there is something else the wolves do - they imprint. They find their soul mate, and it's more powerful than love at first sight. It's something magical that occurs and a bond instantly forms such that the wolf is physically and emotionally tied to that person for the rest of their lives. The wolf is in physical pain if not around his or her imprint and lives to make the imprint happy. Nothing and no one else matters. This bond is magical and cannot be broken. Luckily, the magical bond is mutual, so the imprint also magically falls in love with the wolf and wants to make the wolf happy. The love between the wolf and the wolf's imprint is sacred, beautiful, eternal, and selfless. A wolf has absolutely no control over the imprinting and can even imprint on a newborn baby. If he imprints on a child, his feelings are not romantic and will not become romantic in nature until the imprint is old enough to reciprocate his feelings. Until then, he will be a friend, protector, brother, or whatever role is needed by his imprint to keep her safe and happy. From the moment the imprint occurs, the imprint is the most important person in the wolf's life, no matter how much he or she may have loved anyone else before meeting the imprint. It doesn't matter if the wolf is happily married and madly in love with half a dozen children when it occurs, he will have no choice but to leave his wife for his imprint."

Leah stared at me, her eyes wide with fear and suspicion. "That's awful! What about the love he leaves behind?"

"Well, he'll still love her, just as he always has, but his love for his imprint will eclipse it. He can try to fight it, but it will cause him physical pain, and if his imprint dies after he meets her, he'll die too. Their souls are joined together and can't be separated. So, unless the wolf's former love is cool with being part of a threesome and can get the imprint to agree to it, then she's doomed to heartbreak."

"That sucks!" she shouted, outraged.

"I agree. It's why the wolves shouldn't enter into any relationships. Unfortunately, sometimes that commitment is already given before they become wolves."

She gasped, putting a hand up to her mouth, her eyes welling with tears. "Sam has an imprint doesn't he?"

I frowned and nodded. "He hasn't met her as a wolf yet, but as soon as he does, your relationship is over. He will end it that night. It will tear him to pieces because he will still love you and not want to hurt you, but he can't stay away from his imprint. It will tear her to pieces because she loves you and will refuse to have anything to do with him, not wanting to hurt you, but in the end she won't be able to stay away either. The betrayal would've torn you to pieces most of all, because you wouldn't have understood that neither of them had any control over it or realized how much they fought against it, despite the pain it caused themselves, in the effort to prevent hurting you. Your own cousin that you love like a sister, Emily, is his soul mate."

"No!" she yelled, shaking her head in denial. "She can't be!"

I raised an eyebrow. "You know it is entirely the magical bond and not anything from Sam himself, because he has met her and spent time with her many times in the past and never felt any kind of connection toward her, right?"

"Right! He sees her as a friend, a sister."

"So you know he'd never betray you if it weren't for the shape shifter magic. Your tribe believes it's a matter of which genetic combination would make the strongest babies, but I'm not so sure about that. Unfortunately, I don't know who your imprint would be, or I'd tell you just to both hook up with your soul mates and be done with it. The problem is, if you become a wolf, Sam will be able to share your thoughts and if you think about Emily, he may imprint on her from seeing her in your thoughts. I don't know if that's possible or not. So you have some choices to make. You could try to keep him away from Emily, never invite her or him to the same things and hope that'll be enough to keep them from meeting. You could tell him what you know and accept a threesome with them, since you already love Emily too. You could arrange for Emily to have an 'accident' and be removed from the earth before Sam can imprint on her. Or you could let the two of them be together and try to find your own soul mate over time. You've got time. After all, if you become a wolf, you don't even have to age until you're ready."

"I . . . uh . . . This is too much," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"I know. I told you it would be days, weeks, or even years before you could come to terms with all if it and make decisions, remember? Don't try to make sense of it right now. Just relax and absorb all the information you've been given. Maybe start with confronting Sam tomorrow with your knowledge of him being a shifter. I'd appreciate it if you don't mention me just yet. Just tell him you had a dream and saw him as a big wolf and thought about the legends and your normally rational parents' reactions to the Cullens and figured maybe it wasn't superstitious nonsense after all. I'm sure he'll be greatly relieved to be able to confide in you once he sees you already know the truth and still accept him."

She nodded her head slowly. "Yes, yes, that's a good plan."

"Okay, I'll be back to check in with you in a few days and see where you're at with all this. By the way, the Cullens are good people. They really do only drink animal blood and help protect humans. They aren't the vampires you need to worry about. The other kind are definitely out there."

"Really?" she asked, curious and slightly alarmed.

"Yep, when the time comes, the Cullens will be your allies. They will fight alongside the wolves in killing the kind of vampires who drink from innocent humans. You see, there are five different kinds of vampires. There are the animal drinkers, like the Cullens. There are those who only drink bagged blood, or from those who are already dying, such as the elderly, the terminally ill, or the mortally wounded. Then there are the vigilantes who go looking for human scum, those who deserve to die by human standards but are able to escape human justice, such as serial rapists, child predators, murderers, and those in organized crime.

Next are the vampires who see humans as nothing more than cattle, who eat when they are hungry with no regard for age, gender, or health of the victim. They eat to satisfy their hunger with no more thought to the feelings and family of their food than humans give to the cows who provide the meat for their hamburgers. These vampires aren't necessarily evil, any more than humans are evil for eating animals, but they've lost touch with understanding that they were once human also. Losing touch with that aspect of their humanity makes it easier for them to choose the evil path, because their conscience is not as finely tuned. However, it isn't all that different from the way slave owners treated their slaves in the past, and still do in other countries, considering their fellow humans who happen to be slaves to be nothing more than animals. By considering the slaves animals instead of thinking, feeling beings, they were able to justify to themselves evil actions in the way the slaves were treated.

Finally are the truly evil vampires, those who like to 'play with their food'. These vampires enjoy torturing their victims before killing them. They kill for fun as well as for food and will sometimes rape humans before eating them. They play games with the humans and will kill a mother's children in front of her deliberately, just to torture her, before finally allowing her the mercy of death. Those are the vampires that should be destroyed, no questions asked, as a service to humans, vampires, and shifters alike. At least in my humble opinion."

"I agree," Leah growled.

"Just remember, there are evil humans who do the same types of things to their victims, and I think the vampires who destroy them are doing the human world a service."

Leah paused, silent for a moment.

"There are humans who delight in killing a mother's children in front of her deliberately just to torture her before raping and murdering her. If a vampire chooses to find those types of humans and rid the world of that evil, I say _bon appetit_," I continued.

She scowled and nodded.

"You see, vampires are the butterfly to the human caterpillar. If the human was evil, the vampire is evil. If the human was good, the vampire is good. Most humans fall somewhere on the spectrum between the two, thus vampires do too. Carlisle and Esme Cullen are truly good, but in two months there will be a couple of vampires coming here that are truly evil. If they aren't destroyed, hundreds of humans in this area alone will die. They, and ones like them, are the reason the wolves exist to protect your tribe."

She nodded in understanding.

"Alright, I'm going to go now and let you rest. See you soon. Don't forget - you're an amazingly strong, intelligent girl. I wouldn't have trusted you with all of this otherwise."

She gave me a tremulous smile. I waved and passed through the front door on my way out of the house. I figured it couldn't hurt to remind her I was of the supernatural myself, since denial is one of the first stages she'd be going through in attempting to make sense of all the information I'd dumped on her.

Once outside, I pictured the Cullen house in my mind, ready to return to my vampire family.


	9. School Sucks

**School Sucks**

The Cullen kids were all for dropping out of school and starting on their new projects right away. While I thought it would be fine for the seniors to all be 'home schooled' for the rest of the year, I informed them that Edward and Alice needed to stay in school, at least for a little longer.

"What? Why?" Edward whined. "I should stay home! Look at what nearly happened yesterday!"

"That's because Bella Swan, the new girl, is not only your singer, she's also your mate. Not only that, but you can't read her mind, because she's gifted. She has a mental shield. A shield so strong that Aro wouldn't even be able to read her as a human, nor would Jane's, Alec's, Demetri's, or Chelsea's gift work on her. As a vampire, she will be able to shield your entire family and everyone you care about all at the same time against any mental abilities."

"Impressive!" Jasper gasped.

Rose glanced from Jasper to me, then nodded. Looking at Edward, she determined, "Normally I would've told you I'd rather drink werewolf blood than have you bring a human into this family, but after everything Specter has told us, the warnings she has given us, and the knowledge your mate can help protect us, I'm going to tell you to actively seek your happiness with her. If you don't change her yourself, I can guarantee one of us will be doing it for you, even if you leave right now, so don't think for one second leaving her human is an option."

"She's right, Edward," Carlisle agreed. "I won't let you endanger my family and your own happiness over some ridiculous notion that you don't deserve a future with your soul mate."

"Oh, Edward, I'm so happy for you!" Esme gushed, clapping her hands together.

"Edward does have a point though," Alice remarked grimly. "The visions I had yesterday were worse than those I had back when Jasper was still with Maria. It won't do any of us any good if he kills her before this wonderful future comes to pass, now will it?"

Jasper squeezed her hand comfortingly and looked to me for advice.

"He just needs to get used to her scent. He should skip school today and spend the whole day in her house, getting used to it, letting it burn and fighting back the monster, accepting that the pain is necessary while she remains human and learning to think around it. He needs to come to grips with the idea that Bella is his key to eternal happiness and drive home within himself that killing her would do far more damage to himself. Once he accepts that, it'll be that much easier," I suggested.

"Plus, he can spend the time getting to know what he can about her and Charlie, finding out what she likes to read, the music she listens to, what she looked like as a child. He can look for photographs and home movies from her childhood, as well as letters Charlie may have kept that she or Renee wrote to him over the years. I'm sure it would all be enlightening. Then, too Edward, you'd have access to information and memories to give back to her after her change, if need be."

"That's an excellent idea!" Carlisle praised.

Edward did seem intrigued despite himself and soon took off to the Swan house to begin his stalking. Carlisle left at the same time to head back to work.

"Now that Edward's out of the way, I need to share some other things with you guys. First of all, Bella is every bit as insecure, self-loathing, inexperienced, and self-martyring as Edward is. Add in an immature, irresponsible mother, a father who has been both physically and emotionally distant for the majority of her life, and a shy, clumsy nature, and Bella's self-esteem is the size of a grain of sand. All of you are going to need to do your part to build up her sense of self-worth and help her develop a backbone," I explained.

Rose snorted and rolled her eyes.

I frowned at her. "Seriously, Rose, you're one of the best people to help her with that. You have the ability to tell it like it is without sugar coating anything. If you can get over your petty jealousy that Edward will actually think she's beautiful and fall in love with her when he never gave you a second glance, then you'll be in an excellent position to help her to stand up for herself instead of being such a pushover and trying to please everybody else all the time."

Rose grimaced, embarrassed. "What? I'm not jealous! I never wanted Edward!"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know, but it irked the hell out of you that he didn't fall at your feet like all the other unattached males on the planet. You decided it was because he was defective. Maybe he is. He's certainly had plenty of other offers from other beautiful women, both vampire and human over the years. Who cares? The fact is, he's only interested in his mate, who isn't you, so get over it and move on to more important things. I know for a fact there's a hell of a lot more to you than the vain, selfish, shallow, spoiled girl Edward thinks you are due to your consistent surface thoughts. I know that's just a mechanism you use to keep him from knowing the real you and seeing your deeper thoughts. I know he has no clue as to your true inner strength and character, no idea how much of a struggle it has been over the years to heal and become the powerful woman you are, rather than let the circumstances of your change drag you down. I get it, Rose, okay? You don't have to pretend with me. I've been there, done that, and I know the long hard road you've walked ever since."

Rose stood there frozen for several minutes, before reaching out to me to squeeze my hand, forgetting it wouldn't work. I smiled sadly at her and made the motion of squeezing her hand in return, though neither of us could actually feel the other, our hands occupying the same space at the same time. Our eyes told us all we needed to know. It was enough to comfort as it was meant to do.

"Oh, honey," Esme sobbed, coming to join us. She hugged Rose and clearly wanted to hug me too. I smiled at her, letting her know I understood and appreciated the gesture.

"Alright, back to the issue at hand. Alice, I know Bella will be your best friend, but you have to hold yourself back from steamrolling right over her or guilting her into doing what you want her to do just to make you happy. It's bad enough you take advantage of Jasper that way, treating him like a Ken doll, dressing him up like a preppy and taking away his self-respect. That man would walk through the fires of hell for you, and yet you take one of the most powerful vampires on the planet and turn him into your lapdog."

"Don't talk to her like that!" Jasper growled, baring his teeth at me.

I raised an eyebrow. "Look at you, Major! There is no need whatsoever to be ashamed of your past. You were thrust into a nightmare, but none of it was your fault! You were an incredible human, saving hundreds of lives with your plans to evacuate Galveston - your idea that you alone were able to convince the enemy to agree to a truce long enough to allow. It's right there in the Wickipedia - the story of the unknown major.

Then you were forced to fight in a brutal war for survival, enduring excruciating tortures at the hands of the one who brought you into the supernatural world. You retained enough of your honor despite your surroundings and the personal cost to yourself to let your friends go. You then left everything you knew behind and started all over again as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Even then, you still struggled and turned your back on your instincts themselves to become an animal drinker in a peace loving coven and attempted to please your new family by playing human, no matter how much you suffered for it.

You have my utmost respect, Major Whitlock, and I hate how this family has treated you over the years. There is so much more to you than carrying shopping bags around like a pack mule and being constantly pushed to become something you're not. You're a Texan, Jasper, a soldier and an officer, and should be damn proud of it. Just because you don't lead a life of violence anymore doesn't mean you have to be passive or submissive. You can be a strong leader without destroying the people around you."

"I'm not trying to push him to be something he's not," Alice whispered, looking at you in confusion.

"Alice, darlin', you hit the fucking jackpot - you have the best mate in the world, and you've turned him into a tame little toy poodle because you like to see pretty bows in his curly locks," I told her calmly, trying to get her to understand. "You've got an empath who can give you a dozen mind-bending orgasms without ever even laying a finger on you, and you have him pretending to be a schoolboy. You know the popular saying from the 60's 'Make love, not war'? Your husband could actually have an entire battlefield so full of lust and desire the men are too busy fucking each other to fight. He could have every soldier snoozing instead of shooting. Bringing about world peace amongst the humans would practically be child's play to a man of his caliber, yet you have him wasting his talents conjugating verb tenses and memorizing inaccurate historical facts."

"Okay, okay, we get the whole high school sucks thing, alright?" Rose protested. "You can lay off about it already. We're moving on now and so can you."

I smiled at Rose. "I'm glad to hear that. I hate beating a dead horse."

"Ew, that's just gross," Emmett complained, trying to lighten the mood.

"Nobody said you had to eat it," I teased.

He made gagging noises before grinning at me and winking.

"Okay, back to Bella. My point is that Bella has been raising herself and taking care of her mother for most of her life. She doesn't know how to find a balance between allowing others to help her and take care of her and being her own person. She's also never been in a relationship before. She kept to herself in Phoenix and was easily lost in the crowd. She won't know how to handle all the attention she receives here, especially from the guys.

She doesn't like any of the human boys, because she is Edward's mate and only has eyes for him. Unfortunately, she doesn't know how to communicate that effectively to the humans and gives them mixed messages, all because she doesn't want to hurt their feelings and attempts to let them down gently. She doesn't understand that boys can't take hints and need everything spelled out for them. By letting them down easy, in an attempt to help them save face, she gives them hope that she returns their feelings and the timing just isn't rights. Thus, they keep coming after her, interfering in her relationship and making Edward want to kill them out of jealousy.

She needs help to learn how to tell the boys clearly and effectively that she wouldn't date them if they were the last men on earth and the entire survival of the human species was dependent upon her procreating with them, that she would allow the human species to become extinct instead. I can't imagine anyone more capable than Rose of teaching her how to get that message across, though perhaps Esme could help it be delivered in a way that doesn't make the boys become suicidal afterward."

Rose smirked and Esme pleasantly agreed.

"Emmett and Jasper, you can help her with her self-esteem. Emmett, she will immediately feel a pull toward you as a big brother. Just act like one and help her feel like she belongs with your family. Jasper, I need you to help both Edward and Bella to understand their own and each other's feelings. Both of them grossly underestimate the other's feelings, which causes all kinds of problems and difficulties, since both of them worry the emotions are mostly one sided."

Jasper nodded and declared, "Certainly. I'll make sure they both can feel what the other is feeling."

"Bella will also need to know how the others in the family feel toward her, as soon as familial love develops. She needs to feel like she truly belongs in this family, if you want her to be able to protect you effectively with her gift later. She is quick to accept and forgive others and will love your entire family whole-heartedly, almost from the beginning."

"Really?" Rose asked skeptically.

You nod and confirm. "Yep, even if you act like a bitch, she'll still love and respect you, Rose, but please don't."

Rose shrugged, but relaxed against Emmett.

"Alice, you have a strong personality and are used to getting your own way, thanks to your gift. Your enthusiasm and puppy eyes are hard to resist, as you very well know. Bella will love you and want to make you happy. She will continually do things she doesn't like or enjoy in an effort to please you, purely for your sake. It will be easy to steamroll over her and get her to do whatever you want. It will be hard to do the right thing - to ask for her opinion and to actually listen and take her opinions, thoughts, feelings, and tastes into account.

Bella doesn't like to shop unless it's for books. She prefers simple, comfortable clothes, like jeans and t-shirts rather than fancy clothes like skirts and dresses. She doesn't wear make-up either. She is rather clumsy and is extremely uncomfortable in shoes with any kind of heel. So instead of forcing her to shop for clothes for hours and making her wear clothes that make her feel uncomfortable and self-conscious, please try to help her feel good about herself by liking her just the way she is and not try to change her into a replica of yourself. Always trying to dress her up or give her a makeover is going to make her feel like she's not good enough the way she is. She's going to feel like she needs all the superficial things to make her pretty enough to be seen with you without embarrassing you with her presence. That's the opposite of what we're going for here."

Alice's mouth drops open as she realizes how it will make Bella feel to constantly be bombarded with ways to alter her appearance. "Oh, no! I wouldn't want her to feel that way! I mean, we're vampires and are extremely gorgeous, yet we wear beautiful clothes and make-up."

"I know, Alice, though hopefully you'll be working on making yourselves appear more human, which means making yourselves look more flawed, rather than more beautiful. What human wouldn't look at your near perfect physical beauty and feel unable to compare or compete? Of course being around you would naturally be a blow for any human's self-esteem. Rose, you say you miss being human, yet you take such pride in your inhuman beauty. Being human means being imperfect. You need to embrace that imperfection if you want any hope of blending in with homo sapiens."


	10. Masking the Lures

**Masking the Lures**

Edward spent all day Wednesday and Thursday at the Cullen house as well, bringing home a clothing item of hers each night to keep her scent close. It was kind of creepy, but effective in helping the others get used to her scent as well. All of them agreed she was one of the sweetest humans they had ever encountered. Jasper was able to feel and prepare for handling Edward's extra bloodlust. The Cullens kept themselves topped off by draining animals into bottles and refrigerating the blood to have on hand at all times.

Carlisle cut back on his shifts at the hospital to a normal work load, allowing him time to begin researching all the human experimentation into synthetic blood and cloning. He put in his six month notice to give the hospital time to locate a replacement and began looking into land on which to build a state of the art laboratory facility far enough away from the reservation to avoid triggering the wolves. I had told him a lot about the wolves and how their genes were triggered by the presence of vampires in the area.

Jasper, Rose, and Emmett had withdrawn from school and were eagerly pursuing research alongside Carlisle, developing their understanding of the material so they would be able to help him effectively in the lab. Carlisle was practically glowing with joy and excitement from being able to share his knowledge and interests with his children, loving the questions they asked him, whether he knew the answer or not. If he didn't know the answer, he would add the question to a list so he could find the answer, either through further research or through future experimentation.

He brought home human blood samples for them all to study, trying to find out what caused the differences in scent, among other things. The frequent exposure to fresh blood helped the others to control their own bloodlust, and they wondered why they hadn't done something similar in the past, knowing this was very similar to the way Carlisle had made himself immune to the scent. Esme and Alice participated in this portion of the study for this reason, though their main focus was on cosmetics.

Esme and Alice went shopping and purchased all kinds of different sun protection products, fake tanning products, foundations for various skin tones, and other kinds of make-up. While Alice was at school, Esme would choose a set of things to try that they had agreed upon the night before and run to wherever it was sunny for a few hours and test the effectiveness in blocking the shimmer of her skin. Some things Alice was able to quickly rule out with her visions as being completely useless, but couldn't accurately judge the effectiveness of a solution that seemed to reduce the shine. Thus, she would tell Esme where to find private sunny spots within an hour's run time. Then Esme could judge the reduction of the glare with her own eyesight, describing and quantifying it.

Rose had gone online and ordered high quality special effects make-up, which had arrived Wednesday afternoon. All the girls had spent some time Wednesday and Thursday evening experimenting with it, learning how to create imperfections on their flawless faces, along with the right quantity to add so it wasn't overly uncomfortable and didn't accidentally get wiped away or worn off with normal movements.

There was a different excitement in the air this morning, however. Edward had decided he was strong enough now to return to school and was eager to meet Bella. Alice had still been attending school while Edward was inhaling Bella's scent in her house all day, so Alice had made the first move to befriend Bella. To her glee, Bella had welcomed Alice with open arms, keeping her company at the 'Cullen' lunch table where Alice would've been lonely without her mate and siblings. Edward had eagerly soaked up anything and everything Alice had showed him of her interactions with the girl, but now he wanted to experience time with Bella for himself.

I decided to go along for the ride and warn Edward if he started doing or saying anything stupid. Rose took great pleasure in preparing him for his big day. She used the special effects make-up to give him several red dots that appeared to be emerging pimples. She toned down the glamour by making variations in his skin tone, using pictures of human males to know where and how much would appear normal. She applied concealer under his eyes to hide the darkness of the shadows there and added a hint of blush to his cheekbones. Rather than enhancing the way humans do, she de-emphasized his eyes and eyelashes, making them not seem as prominent and smoldering. She even added a touch of oil to his hair, giving it the same sheen as a human's. He was still quite attractive when she was finished, but it was the attractiveness of a human teen heart throb, rather than the beauty of a supernatural being. I gave them both a thumbs up in approval, knowing it was much easier to look at Edward now without feeling the pull and draw of the predator within.

Hopefully Bella wouldn't feel 'dazzled' and would be able to converse with him as easily as she did Mike or Jake. She needed the confidence of being in control of her thought processes and needed to see him as approachable instead of unattainable or otherworldly. Edward, on the other hand, needed to know she was attracted to him and not just drawn in by the predatory gifts all vampires have as part of their nature. With that in mind, Edward had sprayed his entire body with an odor neutralizing agent after he got out of the shower that morning. His family could still detect his natural scent, but it was blocked enough that humans wouldn't be able to smell it unless they intimately close to his skin.

He also had breath mints on hand to alter his scent for when he was close to Bella. The purpose was two-fold. It would block Bella from being drawn in by the scent of his breath when he exhaled in her direction, but also the taste and smell of the mints would distract him from her natural scent. Associating the strong appeal of her blood with the disgusting and slightly nauseating taste in his mouth would provide intense negative feedback. The theory was that if he did it consistently, his brain would subconsciously link the two scents and the unpleasant taste together, making him feel slightly nauseated by the smell of her blood even when he didn't have a breath mint in his mouth.

He had practiced talking less smoothly as well, not letting his words flow naturally, but mimicking the more choppy speech patterns of humans and adding a scratchy roughness to his voice on occasion, as if he truly needed to clear his throat. The pauses, stutters, pitch changes, cracking, and scratchiness all combined together to break the hypnotic sing-song quality of his regular vampiric vocalizations. "Ugh! It's so hard to be human," he complained good naturedly.

"Tell me about it," Alice agreed, having gone through the same process herself.

"Well, at least now she has a fighting chance," Rose commented. "She can accept or reject you on your own merit, rather than being suckered in by the glamour like good little prey. Perhaps her lackadaisical sense of self-preservation will have the opportunity to make an appearance now too, though somehow I doubt it."

It meant just as much to Rose as it did to Edward that Bella feel only the mating pull and choose to be with him without all the additional trappings. Both needed to know that it was Edward himself she wanted and needed and wouldn't fall head over heels for _any _vampire giving her special attention and affection. After all, any vampire who put his mind to it could dazzle and lure a female to follow him and believe herself devoted to him. It was what made it easy to separate one's prey from the crowd and get her alone to drink from without exposing oneself to the other humans. By removing as many of the vampiric lures as possible, they hoped to prove to themselves it was Edward she wanted and needed and not 'the vampire' attracting and overwhelming her.

Edward was annoyed by her comment, but also concerned as well. He was worried that she could be right, that Bella might be more willing to listen to the part of her mind that warned her he was dangerous. He was nervous that she wouldn't want him the way he wanted her, wouldn't feel the mating pull, wouldn't be drawn to him without the beauty, scent, and sounds he had previously both resented and taken for granted. Would he be enough for her if he was flawed like the human boys who didn't interest her? What if she tried to let him down easy, just like all the other boys with cracking voices and human complexions?

"Stop stressing, Edward," Jasper commanded, sending him a dose of calm and self-confidence. "If she's truly your mate, she'll want you no matter how you look, smell, or sound. If she isn't, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place."

Edward frowned and sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Aw, just go get your girl, bro," Emmett encouraged. "You're still pretty, even for a human."

He guffawed, slapping Edward on the back, knocking him forward slightly.

"Of course she'll love you, son," Esme soothed, fixing his collar and kissing his cheek.

I was still working on convincing Alice of the need to dress less conspicuously. Edward was wearing a long sleeved polo shirt and crisp new jeans instead of a dress shirt and slacks, so I had been making progress.

"C'mon, it's time to go," Alice declared, grabbing Edward by the wrist and tugging him out to the Volvo. "We don't want to be late!"

Edward willingly followed, a slight smile on his face, though the worry lines still showed, indicative of his nervousness. I slid in the back seat, right through the closed car door, not waiting for an invitation to join them.

"You're coming too?" Edward asked in surprise.

I nodded and grinned. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

**xxxxxxx**

**AN:** What will Bella think of this 'human' Edward, without all the dazzling and the lures? One who doesn't seem so otherworldly and untouchable?


	11. Meeting Bella

**Meeting Bella**

Edward and Alice waited in the car for Bella to arrive at the school. They started getting out as soon as she pulled into a parking spot, and I followed them as they walked over to her. She saw them headed her way and quickly ducked her head, staring at the ground and blushing heavily. Her cheeks were red as tomatoes, and I knew Emmett would be having a field day if he could see her now. I was glad Edward was being smart about deciding to have his first meeting with her out in the open air where the breeze could help disperse her scent.

"Hey, Bella!" Alice greeted excitedly. "Edward's finally back and wanted to meet you!"

Bella peeked up at him nervously, running her eyes over his face. She took a deep breath, then relaxed, holding out her hand. "Good morning, Edward."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella," he smoothly replied, smiling. Pulling his hand out of his pocket where he'd been holding it against the hand warmer, he shook her hand. As soon as his hand wrapped around hers though, she gasped and instinctively pulled away, her eyes wide. Edward's face instantly fell, feeling rejected, his eyes confused. He couldn't blame her reaction on the coldness of his touch this time, because his hands were currently just as warm as hers.

"S-sorry," she stuttered, blushing bright red and holding her hand out again. "You shocked me. I mean, it must've been static electricity."

Edward's eyes widened almost comically, before he recovered, grinning and reaching for her hand again. "Yes, I felt it too," he admitted, exchanging a speaking glance with Alice.

"Way to be obvious, dipshit," I muttered. "She's watching every move you make. She saw that little look you exchanged with Alice. She won't mention it, but she definitely noticed."

He had the grace to look embarrassed for a moment, which actually put Bella at ease. Seeing him looking as embarrassed as she was feeling helped her feel equal to him. He was still holding her hand, after taking it again once she offered it, and was looking at their grasped hands with interest while she watched his face.

Looking up into her eyes, he smirked and mentioned, "I was eager to meet Alice's new best friend. She hasn't stopped talking about you for the past couple of days."

Bella glared sternly over at Alice, raising her eyebrow. Alice held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "All good, I promise!"

Bella turned her eyes back to Edward, shrugged and confessed, "You shouldn't believe everything you hear."

Edward laughed, squeezing her hand gently. "Well, I look forward to getting to know you better, so I can judge for myself." He smirked and winked at her.

Flustered, she blinked a few times, then smiled back mischievously. "Well, I look forward to getting to know you too. After all, I'm not the only one Alice has been going on and on about over the past few days."

Edward groaned and ducked his head. It was clear he'd be blushing if he could. "What did she tell you? Don't believe a word of it."

It was Bella's turn to laugh. Delighted by his reaction, she teased, "You mean you aren't the best thing since sliced bread?"

Loving her laugh and basking in her happiness, he stepped closer and whispered, "Sure I am. Just don't tell anybody else."

Alice giggled and clapped her hands. I couldn't help grinning and shaking my head. This was a much better first meeting for the two.

Bella laughed loudly, making the other students start whispering about what Edward could be saying that was so amusing. Of course, nearly everyone was watching the interactions between them, most with petty jealousy, wishing to be in the place of one or the other.

"So humble too," Bella prompted sarcastically, her eyes twinkling.

"Indeed," Edward agreed, trying to keep a straight face. "Just one of my many great qualities. I shall have to extol my extensive list of virtues for you later."

Bella giggled, "I'd like that."

The morning bell rang and Edward let go of her hand only to offer his arm like a gentleman. "May I escort you to your first class, Beautiful?"

"Beautiful?" Bella asked, lifting an eyebrow and eyeing him skeptically. She didn't hesitate to place her hand on his arm though and begin walking beside him. "Do I look like the kind of girl to be taken in by flattery?"

He raised both eyebrows in surprise. There was no doubting the sincerity in his reply, "You don't recognize you're beautiful? It may not be the kind of beauty found in modern supermodels and movie stars, but you have a classic beauty of the kind painters have always sought in their subjects, like the Mona Lisa, as well as a loveliness of character that makes you shine like a beacon in the darkest of lives, like a sun at midnight on a moonless night."

Bella's breath caught in her throat, and she stared up at him, eyes shining. She sighed whispered, "That's so beautiful . . . your words . . . incredible."

Edward smiled, placing his other hand on top of hers where it rested on her arm. Seeing they were nearly to her class, he decided to lighten the mood. "Besides," he added. "Bella means beautiful in Italian, so I'd say you were very aptly named."

Recovering slightly, Bella noticed her surroundings and took a deep breath to center herself. Smiling up at him, she added, "Hmmm, I don't know about that. My last name is Swan, but I'm nowhere near as graceful as those beautiful birds."

Looking down, she admitted, "Though, I think the kids in Phoenix may have considered me something of an ugly duckling." She blushed and bit her bottom lip, regretting her revealing statement and hastily explained further, "I was a bit of a loner. Alice is my first real friend."

"Really?" Edward asked, surprised. "Because I can assure you the boys here don't view you that way at all. I'm definitely not the only one who sees how lovely you are, and if the glares I've gotten while walking with you this morning are anything to go by, you've got quite a list of potential suitors gathered already."

"I do?" she asked, looking around in disbelief. "I think you're mistaken."

Smirking, Edward shook his head. "No, I'm definitely not mistaken. You know the saying 'if looks could kill', right? I'd be a dead man walking." He snickered to himself, enjoying his own private joke. Bella narrowed her eyes at him, and I huffed.

"Idiot! Quit it with the stupid private jokes. She noticed that and is filing it away for later," I warned. "She may be utterly blind when it comes to other boys, but she's extremely observant and intuitive when it comes to you."

Startled, his eyes flew to hers, noticing the slight suspicion reflected there before she looked away.

"Uh, I'd better take a seat, and you still have to get to your own class," Bella muttered reluctantly.

"I'll see you soon, beautiful," he murmured. "Um, would you please have lunch with me today?"

She grinned up at him and nodded eagerly. "I'd love to! Thanks, Edward."

"My pleasure," he replied, with a matching grin. Lifting her hand up to his mouth, he pressed a kiss to the back of it. She shivered, and he quickly let her go, backing away. Cradling her hand close to her body, she made her way into the classroom. He watched her for a few moments, then hurried off in the direction of his own class, his face grim, his eyes worried.

"That wasn't a shiver of cold, Edward," I informed him.

He looked at me, reading my expression. "Oh. Oh!" he exclaimed. "Really?'

I rolled my eyes and nodded. Realizing it was a shiver of attraction, he smiled smugly, pleased with himself.

"She felt the mating pull," he offered excitedly. "Even without all the glamour. She felt the charge when we touched, just like I did! I didn't know it was possible for a human to feel it!"

"Yes, she did. Believe it or not, as your mate, she will feel everything just as intensely as you do. She isn't a 'normal' human, Edward. She is a human who has been chosen by God, Fate, or the Forces that Be to be mated to vampire. You are her future - she doesn't have one without you. If you leave her, she will die," I warn. "You'll soon see. She's a danger magnet. Death will haunt her until you change her and if you fight her fate, God's plan for her, it will take an army of vampires and shape shifters to try to keep her safe."

He turned haunted eyes to me. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "She will never be happy without you, but she will be absolutely ecstatic with you, and so will you. You'll get everything you ever wanted, and so will your family. Just trust me, Edward."

He scowled and sighed, muttering under his breath, "Not everything."

Giving him a mysterious smile, I murmured quietly, "You'd be surprised, Edward. There are miracles in your future I haven't shared with you yet."

He freezes for a moment and stares at me wide-eyed. "Wha. . ."

I shook my head, interrupting him. "It's not time to talk about such things yet."

He frowned and looked like he wanted to protest, so I grinned and teased, "Shoot, you haven't even asked her to be your girlfriend yet. No need to put the cart before the horse, now is there?"

He stared at me, uncertain for a few seconds then smiled and nodded. "Okay, Specter, one step at a time."

"You did a good job this morning," I praised him. "For the most part. It certainly beats the way your first meeting would've gone."

Watching me intently, he nodded, completely serious. "Thank you, Specter. For your words, for caring about my family, for giving me this chance to do things the right way, and for whatever you're going to do for us in the future."

"My pleasure, Edward," I replied, smiling to myself.


	12. Drinking Blood

"Hey, Bella! Would you like to hang out with me at my house tomorrow? The rest of the family would like to meet you too," Alice asked cheerfully as soon as Bella joined her at the lunch table.

"Um, sure, that'd be great," Bella agreed, blushing and ducking her head. She looked at the lack of a tray in front of Alice and frowned. "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

Alice grinned and pulled a thermos out of her backpack. "I brought lunch from home today."

Bella smiled and nodded approvingly. "Good for you. I bet it tastes a lot better than the crap they're serving here."

"You can say that again," Alice agreed, gulping down a few swallows.

"Yep, nobody can beat Esme's home cooking," Edward enthused, pulling out his own thermos and sitting down at their table. He took the top off and inhaled deeply, enjoying the aroma. "I can't believe we never thought of bringing lunch from home before."

I laughed and shook my head. "As long as nobody else gets hold of it. Better watch out though, Edward. Your little mate has an uncanny sense of smell," I warned.

"Ew, what's that?" Bella muttered under her breath, turning slightly green and looking around.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked her, startled by her change in demeanor.

"I think somebody's hurt," Bella admitted, looking worried. "I smell blood." She wrinkled her nose.

Both Edward and Alice were gob-smacked.

"Get over it!" I fussed. "Before you give yourselves away. Just distract her. Tell her to smell her food and concentrate on that. Then drink your blood quickly and get your thermoses put away. Next time use the kind with a sport straw that won't leak the aroma."

**xxxxxxx**

Alice was nervous as she drove Bella's truck over to the Cullen house.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked once again, frustrated by Alice's refusal to admit what's bothering her. "You know we could just stay at my house, if you want."

Alice gave her a half-smile and shook her head. "No, Carlisle wants to talk to you. I just don't know how you're going to feel about things afterward."

"Oh," Bella murmured in confusion, wondering why the Cullen patriarch wanted to talk to her. She followed Alice inside the house where Carlisle and Esme were patiently waiting to greet and welcome her. She noted their yellow eyes, pale skin, and beautiful features, though her greeting was as polite as any parent could have wanted.

Carlisle invited her to have a seat in the living room. She sat in a recliner, while he and Esme sank down into the nearby loveseat, and they were quickly joined by the rest of the family, sitting in pairs. She was surprised but pleased when Edward moved a chair to sit down beside her.

"Bella, before you get any closer to my family, I'm going to share some information with you in the greatest confidence. First I must ask you to sign a confidentiality agreement not to share any information regarding the medical history or condition of anyone in this family with anyone outside of this family at the risk of being sued or even imprisoned. Are you willing to sign such an agreement?" Carlisle asked.

Bella stared at him wide-eyed for a few seconds before nodding. The others were staring at Carlisle in surprise. This is something I had worked out with him, and none of the others knew the details. He handed Bella the form and a pen, which she quickly read over and signed. I could sense the approval from everyone that she was smart enough to read it before signing it.

"Okay, Bella, I'm sure you've noticed some differences about my family. There are certain things we all have in common, despite not being related to each other by blood," Carlisle began.

Bella nodded.

"What have you noticed?" he asked curiously.

"You all are pale, have unusual yellow eyes, are extremely beautiful, and are very graceful," she muttered.

"Told ya," I smirked, sticking out my tongue. They smiled but ignored me, since Bella couldn't see me.

Carlisle nodded and sighed, "Yes, you're very observant. We're going to be taking steps to alter our appearance so it's not as obvious to others in the future, such as using make-up and contacts to hide our similarities. The reason we're so alike is that we all share a rare blood disorder. I deliberately adopted others with this disorder into my family to help take care of them and help them make the most of their lives despite the disadvantages that come with the disorder. There are also advantages that come with the disorder, and I wanted to protect them from those who would use and abuse them for those advantages. The problem is, Bella, that this blood disorder, though rare, is actually infectious and spread through bodily fluids, so if you were to become involved with my son Edward, you would eventually become infected too."

Edward winced and look away. Bella flinched and looked around at everyone curiously, none of whom were willing to meet her eyes, before her gaze came back to rest on Carlisle.

"It's contagious?" she asked, biting her lip.

Carlisle nodded. "That's why the Quileute won't come to the hospital now that I'm working there. They know I have the disorder and are afraid I'll infect one of their people. That's why nobody in my family is allowed on the reservation."

"That's not fair! Is it like AIDS?" she wondered.

He sighed, "Kind of, only much worse. It does kill you in a way. The problem is, most of the people who have this disorder don't agree with my methods of treatment. They are highly volatile, extremely violent, dangerous killers. Many go insane. Most become murderers. Some become vigilantes to justify their killing. Others go after the elderly or terminally ill providing what they consider mercy killings. Some detach their conscience completely and kill everyone who has the misfortune to cross their path when the mood strikes without regard to the nature of the victim, only caring to keep themselves from being discovered as the perpetrators. Some even lose themselves to the extent they go on mindless killing sprees, killing anyone and everyone in their paths, unaware of the risk of exposing themselves to potential witnesses."

"That's awful!" Bella exclaimed. "But you guys aren't like that."

Carlisle nodded. "My method of treatment keeps us at a fairly even keel emotionally. We are able to co-exist fairly peacefully with each other and with normal people. We have our moments, as everyone does, but we aren't mindless killing machines or conscienceless power hungry greedy graspers like so many of our kind. Honestly, though, we all struggle with the feelings of violence on a daily basis. It's something we've all had to come to terms with within ourselves, the willingness and desire to hurt and kill other living beings.

The biggest problem you need to worry about right now Bella is that my treatment takes at least a year or two to take effect. If you were to become infected with the disorder, you would become highly volatile and vicious, unsafe to be around normal people for at least a year or two. You wouldn't be able to be around your father at all without irrationally attempting to attack him and hurt him simply because he's there. Once the treatment started working, you would be better, but it would likely be close to a decade before you'd really feel fairly comfortable around him again."

"Really?" Bella asked in a small voice.

"Seriously?" Edward whispered at a level too quiet for Bella to hear, staring at me. "What the hell kind of explanation is this?"

I started at him disdainfully, my arms crossed over my chest. "You wanted her to make an informed decision, didn't you? Let's take all the mystical mumbo jumbo out of picture, leaving out all the mythical romanticism surrounding the concept of vampires, as distorted by various fictional sources, paint a realistic portrait of the negative aspects you're worried about her having to face, and see how she reacts, shall we?"

The others had been staring at me just as horrified, disgusted, and skeptical as he was, but with my explanation, I could see them getting on board with my plan.

"It renders you sterile," Rosalie warned. Bella looked at her, startled to hear her start speaking. "The disorder makes you unable to have children."

"Oh," Bella murmured, nodding once in understanding, her eyes darting to Esme, who looked down at her lap, her eyes filling with venom tears.

"And you can't cry anymore," Alice added. "Even when you want to. Your tear ducts stop working."

Esme sobbed once, quietly, turning her face into her husband's chest.

"But you're stronger!" Emmett added eagerly. "And faster!"

"But you can't show anyone because then the government will want to experiment on you like a lab rat, so you have to hide it and pretend you're normal," Jasper warned, giving Emmett a stern look.

"Yeah, that part sucks," Emmett admitted, sighing heavily.

"You can't get close to anyone outside the family," Rose continued. "Not only because you can't risk them finding out about the skills you've gained, but because you might accidentally lose control and hurt them, kill them, or infect them. So you have to be a loner, always different, always apart."

"At least you have each other though," Bella pointed out, trying to be helpful. "I've always been a loner, without parents or siblings to lean upon when things got tough. Not that I've had it as tough as you or anything. I'm just saying I understand how lonely it can be not to have any friends at school, to be alone in a crowd."

"You can't eat regular food anymore," Edward disclosed, afraid to meet her eyes. "You are placed on a specific very strict liquid diet, with almost no variety. Anything else will make you vomit."

Bella grimaced. "Oh, man. That's unpleasant. I'm so sorry for you guys. I think that's one of the worst things I've heard thus far."

"It's not an easy life, Bella," Carlisle agreed. "Definitely not a picnic and not for the faint of heart. You need to think long and hard about the risk you're taking if you want to spend time around this family. None of us had a choice in becoming infected and most of us would give anything to be normal like you again, but there's currently no hope for a cure in sight. We'll all understand and won't hold it against you if you decide you'd be more comfortable being friends from afar."

On the ride back to the Swan house, Bella was full of questions for Alice. "So you can't eat chocolate?"

Alice shook her head.

"No ice cream?"

Another shake.

"Soda?"

Another shake.

"What does it taste like? The liquid you drink?"

Alice sighed and met Bella's curious stare. "Honestly? It tastes a lot like blood. Like cold, congealing deer blood. On a good day it tastes like warm, angry, bear blood. Either way you slice it though, it still tastes like blood, because due to the disorder we have, our bodies are incapable of making their own blood supply and require a constant infusion of blood cells from an outside source. That's part of the therapy Carlisle was describing."

"Ew. That's . . . That's just . . . disgusting," Bella gulped, turning a bit green and swallowing heavily.

Alice nodded sadly. "I know," she admitted. "But we can't help it. It's what we have to do to survive."

Bella nodded, grimacing and biting her lip. "Wow, that rough. I'm so sorry, Alice. I can't even imagine it, not really."

Alice sighed, her brow furrowed. "You need to try, Bella. You need to think about it seriously. It's a major sacrifice - not one most people would be willing to make. It's a serious risk, completely life-changing. Not something to take lightly. If you get infected from hanging around us, which you will if you start dating Edward, which is obviously why he doesn't date, then it will affect how you interact with other people for the rest of your life. You won't be able to treat your parents the same way ever again, even after the treatment starts working and you calm down enough to be around them at all. You'll be taking the risk of infecting them too every time you're around them.

People like the Quileutes will hate you on sight because of the disease, not caring about who you are as a person. You'll have to hide your differences from normal people to keep them from taking advantage of you, from trying to turn you into a super soldier or a weapon, or from experimenting on you in a lab, trying to figure out how to separate the benefits from the detriments. It's all been done before - that's how we know what we need to avoid."

Bella nodded thoughtfully, her expression serious. "I'll think about it, Alice. I promise. I'll let you guys know by Monday morning at the latest, okay?"

Alice smiled sadly in agreement and gave a halfhearted wave goodbye, knowing Bella meant every word since she was unable to 'see' what Bella would decide. "Remember - you can't tell anyone what we've told you!" she warned before pulling away, getting a brief vision of Bella talking to her father.

Wincing, Bella hastily nodded and hurried into the house.


	13. Decisions, Decisions

**Decisions, Decisions**

"Dad?" Bella asked nervously, twirling her spaghetti on her fork. He looked up at her curiously. "Do you regret getting together with Renee?"

He sat up straight, eyebrows raised to his hairline in shock. Watching her closely, he gruffly replied, "No, of course not, honey. You're the best thing that ever happened to me!"

Smiling and shaking her head, she raised her eyes to meet his, inquiring, "This isn't about me. I mean, if she hadn't gotten pregnant, would you still have married her?"

Charlie paused and carefully wiped his mouth with his napkin before answering, "Honestly, honey, she never would've even considered marrying me if she hadn't been expecting you. Your mom was a free spirit. She wasn't ready to be tied down. If I'd have proposed to her without a baby on the way, she'd have laughed and ruffled my hair, telling me how cute I was, then walked away without it ever crossing her mind that I was being serious. It was never part of her plan to settle down and get married before she was in her thirties."

Bella frowned, "So why did you marry her then? I know there was probably some pressure from your families and society, but you could've worked out some kind of custody agreement without the whole marriage aspect."

Charlie smiled gently and murmured, "I didn't marry her for her sake or mine, Bells. I did it for you. Me being married to your mother provided you with certain legal and financial protections regarding me that would've been harder to obtain otherwise. I also did my best to provide you with a stable two parent home life for as long as I could, kiddo, but it eventually got to be too much for your mom, and she couldn't resist the call of the wild any longer."

Bella watched him, amazed by the revelations he was sharing.

"I loved your mother enough to let her go. She never really loved me, Bells, and I knew that. I knew it would make her bitter and hateful if I forced her to stay. Most of all, I loved _you_ too much to force you to grow up in a home with a depressed mother and parents who argued every night. I wanted you with me, but you hated it here. I wanted to spend more time with you, but when you truly love someone, you care more about their needs than your own wants. I loved you enough to stay here and work the same steady job year after year so I could provide you with health insurance and dental insurance and regular child support payments you could count on to pay the bills. I knew the money I sent was the only thing keeping the electricity on and food on your table, Bells. I wanted to be closer to you and thought about following you guys from place to place, but then you wouldn't have had anything steady you could fall back on or count on when you needed it. I would've gladly had you living with me at any point, but you preferred staying with your flighty mother, no matter how much extra responsibility it placed on your shoulders." He sighed and shrugged, hanging his head and furrowing his brow.

Bella reached over and squeezed his hand. "Thanks, Dad. It meant a lot to me, that I could always count on those deposits from you over the years. I certainly made frequent use of the insurance too. I loved that you never forgot my birthday or any of the holidays or other special days in my life. You were there for me, Dad, taking care of me behind the scenes. It's just, Mom _needed_ me.

I know I seemed so ungrateful, complaining about the rain and saying it was boring here in this small town, but really I just didn't know what to do with myself when I wasn't taking care of an entire household. I had so much time on my hands when I would come here to visit you, when I was supposed to just relax and be a kid like everyone else my age, but I didn't know how.

Instead, I worried. I fretted about Mom, about what would happen to her when I wasn't there. I worried about what she would eat, whether or not she'd remember to pay the bills, if she'd remember to lock the door or turn off the oven. I feared she'd lose her job if I wasn't there to wake her up on time or remind her to get gas in her tank or that she'd get hurt without me around to warn her not to pick up hitchhikers or to try stupid random things.

My fears weren't unfounded. Many times I came home to discover she'd been fired or injured. Bills were late and the fridge was empty. Occasionally some strange new guy had moved in during my absence, though my reappearance usually sent them packing rather quickly. I think that was the part that scared me the most. Really, by the time I was a teenager, it had gotten to the point I was afraid to leave for fear of what I'd find upon my return.

I always loved you, Dad, and appreciated the stability you represented. I did want to spend time with you too, but I loved Mom enough to stay and take care of her, because she needed me, and you didn't. I know you loved me and wanted me, but you didn't _need _me like she did."

Charlie sighed and frowned. "It's not supposed to be that way. You shouldn't have had to sacrifice your childhood to care for her. That was her job. She was supposed to be the mother, not you."

Bella shrugged. "It is what it is. We all have challenges we have to face in life, and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? I know Mom loves me in her own way, but I also know if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't get pregnant. I was a mistake."

Charlie went to interrupt, but Bella stopped him. "It's okay, Dad, I understand. Let's face it. I know you would advise me against a teen pregnancy, right? You can't tell me it's a mistake for me to get pregnant now without acknowledging it was a mistake for you to do so then. The fact is that neither of you were ready to be parents. I'm glad you consider me a blessing, and I'm proud of you for rising to the occasion and doing the best you could under the circumstances."

Charlie's lips twitched as he tried to hide a grin. "Uh, thanks, Bells."

Bella laughed and continued. "The fact is that Mom has Phil to take care of her now and doesn't need me anymore, so now I'm free to live my own life. I'm just thinking about the nature of love. I know you loved Mom, and you've remained single all these years. You're only 35, so you're really still in your prime. Have you carried a torch for her all these years, even though she didn't love you in return?"

Charlie grimaced and flushed, ducking his head in embarrassment. His eyes darted over to meet hers, and he sighed, confessing, "Well, Bells, you and I are a lot alike, I guess. I couldn't really let her go as long as you both needed me to take care of you. Your welfare was tied up with hers, and I did an awful lot of worrying about the both of you. All of my money and emotional energy was tied up in your future and wellbeing, which with Renee's crazy schemes and your tendency to be accident prone was always somewhat in jeopardy, so I didn't really have enough left over to spend on any other females. Now that you're here and she's being taken care of, I feel like I'm finally free to live my own life too. With you, I mean. Uh, I mean, I'm free to move on emotionally with another woman other than Renee, because I'm happy to know you're safe and happy here with me. And she has Phil so you don't have to worry anymore. So you can be happy. Here. With me."

"Very smooth," Bella giggled.

"Yeah, not one of my better speeches," he grunted, rolling his eyes.

Bella bit her lip and hesitantly tried to express her quandary. "So if you went back in time, knowing what you know now, but knowing that Renee would prevent pregnancy from occurring so that there was no chance at all of me being born no matter what you did, would you still date Renee in high school? Would you still have a relationship with her, still fall in love with her, knowing she would move away and leave you behind as soon as she graduated?"

Charlie could see that Bella wanted a serious answer, not a flippant or hasty one, so he dug into his spaghetti while he thought about it, trying to mentally put himself into that kind of situation. He found it was an interesting dilemma the more he considered it, wondering what he would do if he were suddenly given a second chance at life but without the dual blessing and responsibility of his daughter. By removing herself from the equation at the outset, he didn't have to feel guilty about considering the 'what ifs' regarding the possibilities of what his life might have become without a wife and child to weigh him down. In the end though, the answer was simpler than Charlie thought it would be.

"If I were to wake up tomorrow as a high school student while retaining the memories of a 35 yr old man, there are many things I'd change. However, the fact is, I did love Renee, really and truly, so yes, I'd still date her. Even knowing she'd leave me in the dust without a backward glance the second she got the chance, I'd still enjoy the time I had with her. The happy memories I'd form during the brief years we'd be together would be worth the pain of having to let her go later."

A large smile crossed his face as he reminisced, "I wouldn't be able to see her, be around her, and _not_ love her. The heart wants what the heart wants. I know she wasn't really good Mom material, kiddo, but you should've seen her when she was a teenager. She was like trying to hold a sunbeam in your hand - she couldn't be contained. She was energy and light, flitting from place to place like a butterfly. I suppose she was what they now call ADHD. She brightened up those around her and never stopped talking." His face took on look of nostalgic affection. "She was such a scatterbrain. Couldn't keep track of her books, always borrowing pens, pencils, and paper. Never turned in her assignments on time. It was a wonder she even graduated. Yet she was brilliant in her own way. Still managed to get good grades somehow, and everybody loved her."

He grinned at her. "She would've driven you crazy. Always enthusiastic, over the top. Loved shopping, girl talk, and any excuse for a party. I bet she would've drawn you right out of your shell and been your best friend."

Bella giggled and admitted, "That sounds exactly like Alice!"

He chuckled, "Hmmm, I knew there was a reason I liked her. Charming little thing, isn't she? I can't understand why the rest of the town isn't falling at her feet the way they did for Renee."

Bella bit her lip and got quiet, thinking about what she'd learned earlier. She thought about her father's lifelong friendship with Billy. "Dad, this might sound like a stupid question, but please just humor me, okay? What if you found out that Billy's paralysis was caused by something contagious, rather than by an accident? What if you found out there was a chance, however small, that you could become paralyzed too if you continued spending time with him? Would you still go fishing with him every week, or would you only talk to him over the phone?"

Charlie's eyebrow's shot to his hairline, and he stared at his daughter in shock. "Wow, kiddo, that's deep! Where is this coming from? I didn't think teenagers thought about this kind of stuff."

Bella blushed and fiddled with her fork uncomfortably. Shrugging, she muttered, "I guess I'm just pondering the meaning of life, love, friendship, and relationships. I'm trying to figure out what's really important in life, to boil it down to what's critical and what isn't."

Charlie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Well, that's good, I guess. You're certainly making me use the old noggin. Yes, I'd still go visit him. He's my best friend, has been for decades. He's practically my brother. You don't just turn your back on someone because they get sick. I'd be careful, try not to catch it, of course. Take whatever precautions I could. But if I did, then we'd just roll around in our chairs together, I guess. I'm getting close to twenty years with the police force - just three more years to go. I don't really want to retire, but I could take a desk job if need be. I mean, if you were still young, it would be different. I'd have to take your needs into account, make sure I could still take care of you, because your needs would come first with me. If you were still a child, I'd probably have to have a long distance friendship with him until you were older, not take the risk of getting sick myself for your sake, but you're nearly grown now and can pretty much take care of yourself. I'd still be able to take care of myself, even if I were confined to a wheelchair like Billy is, and wouldn't be a burden on you either, so you could still live your own life without worrying about me. I'd hire some pretty young thing to come in and clean house, that sort of thing." He smirked and winked at his daughter.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Dirty old man."

"I thought I was still in my prime!" he protested playfully. "Make up your mind, kiddo!"

She laughed, and they finished up the rest of their dinner in a relaxed atmosphere, each lost in their own thoughts.

After dinner, Bella took out her journal and started writing down her thoughts, trying to clarify them for herself and ease her turmoil. She made a list of the symptoms of the blood disorder the Cullens had. She knew it couldn't be overly contagious or Carlisle would never be able to work as a physician. She remembered reading an article about a physician suing a hospital after he was 'let go' due to becoming HIV positive because of an accidental needle stick to the finger he received while disposing of a dirty needle he'd just used on a patient. Even though he'd contracted the illness from a patient in the hospital while on the job, a patient who hadn't disclosed his HIV status to the physicians upon admittance like he was supposed to, so they could take extra precautions in case of accidental blood exposure, the hospital had deemed it too much of a risk to the other patients to have the physician continue working there. That case and others like it had resulted in a lot of policy changes in hospitals across the nation. No, doctors who had any significant risk of spreading disease were not allowed to infect the masses.

It had to be a rather rare disorder too, if the symptoms were able to be kept hidden from the government and other powerful entities. Yet not so rare, because Carlisle had an entire family made up of those with it. Perhaps those who rejected the treatment were too mentally unstable to be controlled by those who would want to take advantage of their improved speed and strength?

It was obvious that the Cullens struggled with what they had, with the things that set them apart from others. If they could be normal, they would. Was that a life she would want for herself? Unable to eat food, struggling with feelings of rage and violence, becoming sterile, unable to cry, and whatever else they hadn't yet gotten a chance to tell her? No. No, that isn't something she would choose. Who would?

But would that stop her from being close to her friends? Would it stop her from being close to Edward? Could she walk away from him, turn her back on him, never touch him or kiss him? The pain that shot through her at the thought was so intense she grabbed her chest, taking deep shuddering breaths.

No. No, that wasn't an option. She couldn't walk away - she was already in too deep. She wouldn't choose this illness for herself, but she _would_ choose Edward and her friends. She would take whatever precautions she could and hope for the best, but in the end, when it happened, when they began exchanging bodily fluids on a regular basis and the pathogens finally entered her bloodstream, she would take the good with the bad and roll with it. She would learn to drink her blood cocktail with a smile on her face like the rest of them.

Charlie was right. Friends don't just walk away because one of them is sick, and true love is about sacrificing your wants for their needs. Renee and Charlie didn't need her - their lives would go on with or without her, but Edward did need her, and truthfully, she was beginning to think she needed him too. She didn't know what would happen two, five, ten years down the road, but the heart wants what the heart wants. She would take the happy memories and hope for the best.

At the bottom of her journal page she wrote:

_About three things I am absolutely positive. _

_First, Edward and his family are not normal people. Being around them is dangerous to my health, and if I choose to stay with them, eventually I won't be normal anymore either. _

_Second, their diet is absolutely disgusting and consists at least in part – and I'm not sure how dominant that part may be – of pure, undiluted animal blood. _

_And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen. _

_God help me._

**xxxxxxx**

**AN: ** Oh, ye of little faith! So many of you were ready to crucify me after the last chapter. She felt the mating pull, people - she couldn't walk away. Her decision is the same as it was when she knew he was a mythical monster, only now nobody will be able to doubt the depth of her understanding or her devotion. Her sanity? Yeah, that they can doubt. Lol!


	14. A Waiting Game

**A Waiting Game**

"I'm going to lose her," Edward lamented, covering his face with his hands.

"No you won't," Alice reassured him, squeezing his shoulder.

His head lifted, his hope-filled eyes begging for information. "Did you have a vision?"

She winced and shook her head reluctantly. "No, sorry, she hasn't made a decision yet."

His face fell, and he whimpered, covering it with his hands again.

"Oh, get over yourself, Edward," I remarked dryly. "You wanted her to have a choice, right?"

He glared at me. "Shut up, Specter. She isn't going to want anything to do with me, and it's all your fault!"

I raised both eyebrows at his outburst. "Weren't you all depressed at the thought of her becoming a vampire? Didn't you want her to have a normal human life, growing old with her human husband, surrounded by her human children and grandchildren?"

He whimpered again, finally admitting. "Yes! No! Sort of . . . Not really. I mean, I want that for her, but at the same time, I want her with me forever. I hate that I can't give her that, but I need her. I still want her to choose me, even though she'll have to sacrifice that kind of happiness."

"I'm proud of you for admitting that, Edward," I praised. "That's a major step in the right direction."

"Well, she'd be stupid to choose you now, after the way Carlisle presented our situation," Rose grumbled. "Whose bright idea was that? I know it was essentially all true, but it only addressed the negatives for the most part."

"I wasn't aware you were cognizant of the positives, Rose," I provoked. "It's good to hear you admit there are some."

She scowled at me. "Well, you were the one who was so quick to point them out to me, weren't you? Why would you do that to Bella? I know you were the one who convinced Carlisle to go that route with the explanation, so don't bother pretending otherwise!"

I raised an eyebrow, then smirked. "You and Edward were so sure she'd only want this life because of the glamor and a romanticized view of vampirism, that she'd underestimate and dismiss the struggles because of the allure of the supernatural. This way, she can evaluate all the downsides objectively without confusing the issues with the excitement of encountering real mythical creatures."

"You do know that confidentiality agreement she signed isn't worth the paper it was printed on, don't you?" Jasper challenged. "She's not eighteen, so anything she signs as a minor isn't legally binding, even if it could be enforced otherwise."

I laughed and nodded. "Yep, I know. However, Bella herself will feel obligated to be bound by it, because that's part of her personality."

"I hate you!" Edward suddenly growled. "I trusted you to help me, but now I'm going to be doomed to eternity alone, thanks to you and your meddlesome interference!"

I shook my head. "Oh, ye of little faith. I told you she felt the mating bond, just as you did. When she accepts you, medical issues and all, you'll see for yourself that it's already too late. She's been permanently altered, just as much as you have. Besides, now you'll all be able to be yourselves around her without having to hide your secrets, yet you haven't broken the Volturi's laws."

Carlisle smiled at me proudly. "Excellent point! It does protect us all, including Bella, that she doesn't know the whole truth. By removing the supernatural aspect in our explanation to her, the Volturi wouldn't be able to punish us or her for revealing ourselves to a human. After all, she still thinks of us as human."

Edward paused, shocked, as he considered this angle. "Huh, you're right!"

"Guess you knew what you were doing after all, eh, Speck?" Emmett asked cheerfully, attempting to give me a fist bump.

"Are you sure she'll still choose Edward?" Esme wondered worriedly, begging me for reassurance. I smiled and nodded.

"I'm confident she will."

"Well, if she does, it can only be because of the mating bond," Rose grumbled. "Anybody in their right mind would kick us to the curb in a heartbeat otherwise."

"There's no better proof that they're meant to be then, is there?" I pointed out to her.

She eyed me thoughtfully, before sighing, "I suppose you're right."

"Besides, Edward," I whispered in his ear. "Now you have a good reason to turn her down for open-mouthed kisses and other sexual activities that involve the exchange of bodily fluids until you two are married. Bella is a product of the current generation, with a mother who went through a slew of frogs looking for Mr. Right. Renee is very comfortable with the concept of sex outside of marriage and has encouraged Bella to 'enjoy her freedom while she can'.

Don't get me wrong, Bella is still a virgin, but her hormones will kick in and her love of you will prompt her to be ready to explore all the things her mother has been encouraging with you. Like so many children of this generation, Bella is the child of divorced parents. To her, marriage isn't permanent and doesn't carry the level of meaning and commitment it does for you. She has also listened to Renee's rants about it being a mistake to marry before the age of 30 all her life, so she'll be highly resistant to the idea of marriage at all. She would take your rejection of a sexual relationship with her as a sign that you don't truly want or desire her. Now, however, it will make sense to her that you wouldn't want to take the risk of 'infecting' her without a formal commitment from her.

Once she knows you're not human, she won't think the human standards apply to you and will argue that being soul mates trumps being husband and wife. As long as she considers you human, she will better be able to grasp your need to bind her to you legally before agreeing to activities that can alter her irrevocably. So I suggest you introduce the concept of not being sexual until after marriage very early on in your relationship, so she can start working her mind around the idea. You can start with pointing out the legal ramifications of marriage, how it can guarantee protection and health insurance for her that a girlfriend wouldn't have, because in her mind currently love and the institution of marriage are completely unrelated."

I saw the understanding in his eyes as he whispered, "Thank you. I'm sorry about earlier, Specter. I'm just so afraid she won't . . ."

I smiled and nodded, knowing his animosity was merely a product of his fears and forgiving him for his hastily spoken words.

**xxxxxxx**

Bella chose not to wait, driving over to the Cullen house early the next morning to inform them of her decision. Hearing the roaring approach of her ancient vehicle brought all the vampires racing into the living room, scrambling to assume natural looking positions. They waited nervously while Bella pulled in front of the house and sat in her car for a few minutes, gathering the courage to come inside.

Unable to stand the suspense, Esme moved to the front door and opened it, stepping out onto the front porch to smile and wave welcomingly at the girl she hoped would complete her family. Bella relaxed and heaved a sigh of relief in response.

Opening the truck door, she called out, "Good morning, Esme! I'm glad to see you're awake. I didn't want to interrupt your slumber."

"Oh, no need to worry about that, sweetie," Esme soothed. "We don't sleep."

Bella froze mid-step, the truck door swinging shut with a loud bang, echoing into the stillness. "You don't sleep? Like _ever_?"

Esme winced and shook her head, chagrined.

"Oh," Bella mumbled, eyes wide, as she continued forward. Esme relaxed as she realized Bella was still coming inside. Bella stumbled up the stairs and gave Esme a hug, causing all the vampires to heave a sigh of relief to see she wasn't keeping her distance, despite the things she'd learned.

Once inside, she greeted everyone shyly then joined Edward on the couch.

Seeing everyone staring at her expectantly, she cleared her throat and began, "When I was in elementary school, there was a girl in my classes who had cancer. She was bald and very frail from all the chemotherapy and other treatments she endured. The teachers were protective of her, but most of the children avoided her. She couldn't run fast or play hard like the other kids and was fairly uncoordinated. With my own nearly debilitating clumsiness making it difficult to keep up with the rest of the class, I was happy to keep her company.

Everyone knew the cancer wasn't contagious, but she was still treated like a leper anyway, by both kids and adults. I frequently overheard Renee and the parents of other kids in the school discussing the likelihood of Mia dying, worrying about the impact that would have on their own children and wanting to protect them from the pain it would cause them. It was a relevant fear, as she passed away in fifth grade, causing classmates to consider their own mortality for the first time. I had already lost all my grandparents and every pet I ever attempted to keep, so I was familiar with the concept of death and loss.

At her funeral, Mia's mom thanked me for being Mia's best friend. I felt bad, because while I'd considered her a friend, I hadn't thought of her as a _best_ friend. We never really talked or did anything outside of school. However, Mia's mom told me how much it had brightened Mia's life after I moved there and started hanging out with her during recess, walking with her in line, sitting with her at lunch even when she was too sick to eat, and partnering up with her in class. Apparently, Mia would come home and regale her mom with stories every day of whatever games we played or the conversations we'd had. She told me I had given her daughter the strength to keep going, kept her from giving up, made her look forward to school each day, no matter how much pain she felt. She claimed I made life worth living for Mia. I told her it was my pleasure and that I'd learned a lot from her daughter about the courage of perseverance no matter what odds were stacked against you. Yet inside, I wondered how much better things could have been had I made an effort to _be_ the best friend Mia claimed I was.

I could've easily given more of myself, had I not been so focused on myself and oblivious to the needs of others. I held myself back emotionally, not investing my energy and affection, protecting myself from the pain of losing her, knowing it was only a matter of time. I've lived with not only the regret of not trying to be there for her in a more real way, but with the resolve that next time I'd do better. I vowed not to let fear of what it might cost me stop me from being a true friend. I'm ready to put my money where my mouth is, to invest in my relationship with Edward and the rest of you, accepting the risks involved."

**xxxxxxx**

**AN:** Sorry, hit a bit of writer's block for this chapter, which is why it took so long.

I don't normally make recommendations, but I wanted to put the word out about a little known fic I enjoyed very much. Usually writing of that quality has a lot more follows and reviews than this story, so I decided to help the author along if I could, since it was her first story and is already complete.

**The Witch's Stone-It's A Freaky New Moon** » by Ambrogio'smoonlight

Hilarious hijinks abound when Bella & Aro switch bodies the day they meet in New Moon. She agrees to work with him to keep the switch secret from the rest of the Volturi. Feelings develop as the pair strive to maintain the charade & walk in each other's shoes. How does an ancient king adjust to life as a clumsy human girl & a shy teen suddenly start ruling over the vampire world?

_Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 62,560 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 10-9-13 - Published: 8-16-13 - Aro · Bella - Complete_


	15. Real Love Defined

Real Love Defined

"So, you only want to hang out with us to assuage your guilt over a dead girl you befriended years ago?" Rosalie asked skeptically. "I don't think that's a good basis for a relationship."

Bella blushed heavily and shook her head frantically, "No, no! You misunderstood me!"

"I think you'd better try explaining your emotions toward us," Jasper suggested. "Because the family is feeling confused and offended right now."

"Crap!" Bella exclaimed, then clamped her hand over her mouth, looking at Esme and Carlisle apologetically.

"Give her some courage and confidence, Jasper," I suggested. "She's so self-conscious and insecure, she'll never admit her feelings for Edward without a little help."

Bella suddenly straightened up her shoulders and declared, "I spent a lot of time weighing the pros and cons last night, but in the end I realized there really wasn't a choice for me. I feel drawn to Edward in a way I can't explain. It causes me physical pain to think about walking away and not seeing him again." She paused and rubbed her chest, grimacing. "I don't want to become infected. I _really_ don't want to drink blood cocktails. However, I do want and even _need_ Edward. I already love you, Edward, completely and irrevocably, even though it's too quick, and I can't explain it. So, what it boils down to is that you're worth it. Whatever pain or trouble I have to go through to be with you, _you're worth it_. I admit the life you're living isn't one I'd choose for myself, any more than the rest of you did, but I do choose _you_, and if that means eventually living the way you do, then I will. I'll roll with the punches and make the best of it, just like you guys do."

She shrugged and turned to Alice. "Alice, I really like you. I easily envision us as best friends and someday sisters. Even if I wasn't in love with Edward, I'd still want to be your friend. I trust you not to hurt me, and we won't be exchanging any bodily fluids, so I'm sure I'm not really in danger of becoming infected by you. If ever you're bleeding or I am, we'll just take appropriate precautions, use gloves, that sort of thing, since we know there could be an issue. I don't care that you're different, I love you for who you are, and I promise to use the utmost discretion."

She looked around the room, meeting everyone's eyes individually, then promised, "Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell a single soul. Even if I didn't like you, I'd respect your privacy enough not to gossip. I respect that you've entrusted your secret with me, and I won't betray that trust. I don't know the rest of you well enough to have strong feelings for you one way or another, but you're important to the two people I do care about, and that's all that matters to me. I want to get to know you, even if only for their sake, though I do hope to develop a good relationship with each and every one of you. After all, if Edward and I stay together, then you'll eventually be my family too, and your secret will become my own."

By the time she finished, the Cullens were all beaming at her, and even Rosalie was looking at her with hope and respect.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," Carlisle proudly declared.

"Edward! You'd better not leave her hanging like that!" I yelled, upset that he was just sitting there staring at Bella in amazement. "You need to tell her your feelings, before she decides she was an idiot to admit all that to everyone!"

I wished I could smack him upside the head. _What an idiot!_

Thankfully, my words jolted him into action.

He hurried over to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in his. "Bella, I'm in love with you too. I want you to be with me forever."

She relaxed and grinned, relieved that her feelings were reciprocated.

"And I want to be your best friend and sister!" Alice cheered, clapping her hands and bouncing in her seat, causing Jasper to smile down at her affectionately. "I really like you and care about you too! We're going to have so much fun together!"

Bella laughed, "Thanks, Alice!"

"I'd love a new little sis," Emmett remarked, grinning boyishly. "Do you like video games?"

Bella blushed and confessed, "I played a few times with Phil on his Xbox, but I'm not very good."

"That's okay, I'll teach you!" Emmett eagerly offered. Bella smiled and shyly accepted.

The Cullens had a great time with Bella, each spending time with her throughout the course of the day. Esme delighted in fixing food for Bella to eat, Carlisle answered her questions, and Rosalie taught her how to handle unwanted attention from guys, both nice guys and not so nice guys. Alice worked on compromising with Bella with regards to fashion and make-up, allowing Bella to set limits and then sticking to them. Edward worked on listening to Bella and sharing her with his family, rather than monopolizing her time and running roughshod over her decisions.

Bella privately asked Carlisle in his study about the dangers of kissing, worried about whether or not their saliva carried the virus. Carlisle warned her that their saliva did indeed carry the agent that would alter her genetic code to be like theirs, and recommended sticking to closed mouth kisses for the time being.

After that discussion, Edward brought her up to his room to address the issue of intimacy between them.

"Bella, I need you to know that I'm rather old fashioned in my beliefs with regard to sexual intimacy. I'm a virgin, and I fully intend to wait until my wedding night to change that status."

Bella was taken aback. "Wedding night? I mean, I'm a virgin too, but when two people love each other, I don't think they need to wait that long to share something special between them."

Edward smiled slightly. "I understand, and if I were normal or you were like me already, no doubt I'd agree with you, but there are certain risks involved in sexual activities between us. I can't in good conscience agree to take those risks until you've committed your life to me, binding us together legally. It's as much for your protection as it is mine. Once we are man and wife in the eyes of the law, you're guaranteed the health care and financial security you'll need once you share my 'condition', because you won't be able to have the normal kind of life with children and a job that you expected before you met me."

Bella swallowed and looked at him, confused and overwhelmed. She thought about the reasons her father had given for marrying Renee and not following her from place to place. He too had wanted her to have the legal protections marriage gave her. "I-I think I understand, but it's hard to reconcile with the ideas Renee drummed into my head all my life. She absolutely hated the concept of marriage, especially marriage before age thirty, up until she met Phil. She finally came around about the idea of marriage enough to tie the knot with him, but then again, she was 35 by then."

"Bella, I realize your experience with marriage hasn't been encouraging, since your parents divorced, and that Renee's attitude toward marriage has been highly disparaging until recently, but I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd try to let go of your preconceived notions and prejudices toward it and think about it in terms of having a loving future with me," Edward calmly suggested, running his thumbs over the backs of her hands as he held them in his. "Obviously we have some time before we'd be ready to take that step, but I do want to marry you before we head off to college together."

"So young," Bella whimpered, closing her eyes.

"If it helps, Jasper and Alice are married, as are Rose and Emmett," Edward cajoled. Her eyes shot open.

"They are? But how? They're too young!" Bella protested. "It wouldn't be legal!"

Edward smirked. "They had our parents' blessing. In the state of Washington, you can get married at seventeen with parental permission."

"Really?! Oh," Bella replied, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline in shock. "Why would your parents agree though? Young love doesn't stick, you know. What happens when they fall out of love and want someone else?"

Offended, Edward growled, "That isn't going to happen! Carlisle and Esme met when she was 16, and their love has only grown stronger every year since then. You don't understand! You're it for me! I'll never love anybody else for the rest of my life!"

Bella shook her head. "I know it feels that way now, but feelings change as people do. Love doesn't last. My mom's been in and out of love dozens of times."

"No, she was in and out of infatuation," Edward argued. "Please don't use your mother as a reference for what's normal! She didn't even know how to love and take care of you the way a mother should! Real love doesn't fade away. It's not always happy or easy, because relationships take work - all of them do, whether with friends, family, or spouses. Real love involves sacrifice. It's an investment, with ups and downs, full of just as much worry and pain as joy and excitement."

I cautioned Edward to stop pushing and give Bella some time to think. He shut his mouth and waited, trying to hide his impatience and frustration with not being able to hear her thoughts.

Bella thought about Charlie, about the way he loved her, the sacrifices he made to ensure her safety and security. She thought about the way she loved her mother, the things she'd done and everything she'd given up to keep her mother happy and out of trouble. She remembered the look on Charlie's face as he'd described a young Renee and the knowledge that he'd choose to go through it all again if given the opportunity to go back in time. _His love was constant, even if Renee's wasn't. She recalled him saying Renee had never truly loved him. Edward is right. Renee was never in love with Charlie the way he was with her. She was never in love with all those other guys either. If she were, it would've hurt her more to walk away. She loves me in her own way, but even that isn't a deep or abiding love the way Edward describes. She's never invested herself in our relationship the way I have, never put my needs above her own wants and desires, never put me first, the way I did her. I shouldn't let her fear of commitment and lack of emotional depth hold me back from experiencing true love for myself._

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Bella decided, "I'll do my best to put aside my mother's prejudices and approach the idea of marriage with an open mind. It'll take me a while to sort through my thoughts on the subject, but I'll definitely try, okay?"

Edward's resultant smile was blinding and took Bella's breath away.

"Breathe, Bella," he reminded her smugly.

She sucked in a much needed lungful of air, then rolled her eyes and huffed. "You're even more beautiful than I remembered."

Edward realized he hadn't put on any makeup, since he hadn't been expecting her, though he had slipped in his green contacts upon hearing her truck in the driveway and had replaced them as needed throughout the day. He also had his warmers in place to heat up his body, but he'd been wearing them anyway, loving the warmth they produced. He wasn't sure why nobody in his family had ever thought of getting them before, knowing they'd seen them in the stores around all the other camping supplies. His whole family adored them, as well as the new electric blankets and mattress pads they'd purchased upon Specter's suggestion.

"Not as beautiful as you are," Edward told her. "The more you love somebody, the more beautiful they appear to you, and you are already the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Bella scoffed, "No I'm not. I'm just a regular person, while you and your family look like supermodels!"

Edward frowned. "Bella, it's rude to blow off a sincere compliment. I meant every word I said, and it hurts my feelings that you don't believe me."

"You blew off her compliment too, Edward," Esme scolded him, too quietly for Bella to hear, while Bella blushed and hung her head.

Edward grimaced at the realization. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm guilty of the same thing. I didn't thank you either when you told me you thought I was beautiful. It's hard for me to hear about it and accept it, because enhanced looks are simply a side effect of our condition. When you become like us, any small imperfections you have will be smoothed away as well, rendering you more attractive in the eyes of the masses. I know the cost of that beauty, so I don't think of it as a good thing. Besides, it's a pain - it draws unwanted attention from normal people. They either want us or want to be us, yet if they knew the truth about us, they'd run screaming in the opposite direction."

Bella looked at him with understanding and smiled. "I guess we'll both have to work on it then. I'm glad you consider me beautiful, even if I don't understand it myself."

He sighed, "Oh, Bella! You're beautiful both inside and out. Do you have any idea how rare that is? Jessica and Lauren have both been after me since I moved here, but how do you think would they react if they learned my secret?"

Bella winced, admitting to herself it wouldn't be pretty. _They'd broadcast it to the entire school and make sure the Cullen family was ostracized by the entire town. _"What about Angela?"

"Trust you to pick out the one other decent girl in the whole school," Edward praised. "You're a good judge of character. I've never been drawn to Angela the way I am to you though, and between you and me, she only has eyes for Ben Chaney."

"Really? What about him?" Bella wondered.

Edward grinned conspiratorially, confiding, "He likes her too, but is too afraid to ask her out because he's so much shorter than she is."

"Wow! We should help them out," Bella decided, wanting Angela to be happy.

"Okay," Edward easily agreed, liking the idea of doing something nice for two of the only humans whose thoughts he could stand in that school and wanting to please his mate.


	16. Spirit Walking

**Spirit Walking**

I decided to go check on Leah and see how she was doing, now that she'd had several days to contemplate all the information I'd dumped on her. I materialized in front of her house, startling Sam as the two of them came out the front door.

"Where did you come from?" he growled, starting to shake.

"Hey!" Leah called, waving excitedly. She grabbed Sam's arm to help calm him down. "Relax, Sam, she's actually the one who told me the truth about you."

"What?!" he yelped, glaring at me. "How did you know?"

I grinned. "I'm the keeper of many secrets, Sam."

He strode over a few steps and tried to grab me, jumping back when his hand passed right through my arm.

"I'm a spirit walker, like your ancestors," I informed him. "That's probably why you can see me. Normal people can't see or hear me when I'm in this form."

"Where's your body?" he wondered, taking me at face value.

_Can't be any stranger than werewolves or vampires, right? _I thought to myself with amusement. "Like I'd tell you! That's how your Taha Aki ended up merged with a wolf!"

"I wouldn't steal it!" he protested, shocked.

I shrugged. "Better safe than sorry, my friend."

He blinked, then offered, "Thanks for telling her. It's such a relief not to have to hide it from her."

A middle aged man stepped out onto the front porch. "What's going on out here?" he demanded, eyeing me suspiciously. He was joined by his wife.

"This is a friend of mine," Leah replied defensively.

I smiled at her. Before her parents could say anything else, one of the neighbors across the street came out and called over, "Everything okay over there?"

"Yes, it's fine!" The man called back, gesturing in my direction. "We're just helping this tourist find her way."

"What tourist?" the neighbor asked, confused. She looked in the direction he gestured, sweeping her eyes over me, but not fixing on me.

"She can't see or hear me," I informed him, chuckling.

He looked at me in disbelief.

"OH, NO! YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!" I shouted, jumping up and down and waving my arms wildly, pointing to the neighbor's house. The neighbor didn't react in the slightest.

"Harry? What tourist?" the neighbor asked again.

"It was just a joke, Sally," Sue shouted. "He was referring to Leah. She wants to go on a sight seeing vacation, but Harry wants her to stay close to home."

"Oh, okay," Sally agreed doubtfully, giving them all a searching look before slowly moving back inside the house.

"Why don't you come in, so we can talk without giving the neighbors a show?" Harry quietly suggested, looking at his daughter, but talking to me.

"Sure, why not?" I grinned and followed the four of them into the house. I deliberately walked straight through the sofa, so I wouldn't have to deal with the Clearwaters' doubts. They gasped, watching me with wide eyes, while Sam and Leah explained who I was.

"How do you know so much about us?" Harry asked.

I shrugged. "I get flashes of intuition. For example, I know that you have heart disease and will be dead by next April if you don't get it fixed."

Sue gasped, her hand over her mouth, as she stared at her husband in horror. He paled significantly.

"Dad! You have to get help! You have to see a doctor!" Leah cried, not doubting me in the slightest.

He opened and closed his mouth, clearly in denial.

I shrugged again. "What do you have to lose?" I confronted him. "Go see a doctor, and if I'm wrong, all you've lost is a few dollars spent on your health. If I'm right, it could save your life, and if you're already too far gone, at least you have the knowledge, so you don't waste any of the time you have left."

He winced, but nodded.

"I'm making an appointment right now!" Sue declared, getting up to get the phone book and make the call.

"You know, Carlisle Cullen is the best doctor you'll ever find. Go to someone else first to confirm your cardiovascular status, because I'm sure you won't trust me otherwise, but if you want the best chance of survival, you should consider going to him. You know he has more knowledge, experience, and skills than any other doctor you'll ever know."

"How can you even suggest such a thing?" Harry demanded. "They are our enemy!"

I raised an eyebrow and frowned at him. "No, as I explained to Leah before, they are your allies. Your enemies are real and do exist, but you and the Cullens will fight on the same side against the evil ones. The Cullens respect and protect human life. Yes, they are inherently dangerous, but so are your shifters. If one of the young wolves gets angry and phases too close to a human, he will accidentally mangle the human with his claws. The shifters have to be careful about their strength, teeth, and claws just as much as the vampires do. Like the wolves, the Cullens control themselves and would never harm a human except by accident."

"They're leeches! They kill to survive!" Harry protested.

"The Cullens drink animal blood and are currently working on a blood substitute that would allow them to feed without harming any living thing. The shape shifters need large quantities of meat to survive. What's the difference between a wolf hunting down a deer in the forest and consuming its flesh raw, blood and all, and a Cullen hunting a deer and draining its blood? You two should hunt together to be more efficient. The Cullens could drink the blood and the wolves could eat the meat. It's a win/win. Either way, the deer is dead," I pointed out to them. Sam eyed me curiously, and I could see he was thinking about it.

Harry huffed and shook his head, insisting, "It's not the same!"

"Sam, have you hunted in wolf form?" I interrogated.

Sam nodded. "Yes, it would be too hard for me to consume enough food otherwise."

"And when you eat in wolf form, do you pause to drain the animal first like a human would, or do you consume the meat with the blood still in it like any wild animal would?" I continued.

He bit his lip and looked nervously over at the Clearwaters before admitting, "The blood is still in it. It doesn't taste bad to the wolf."

I stared at Harry. "So tell me how it's any different for Sam to eat deer blood to survive than for Carlisle to eat deer blood to survive?"

Harry paled and seemed to be at a loss.

"The wolves are protectors! It's in their nature not to harm a human," Sue declared, jumping into the debate. "Plus, they are born this way, not changed by others into something inhuman."

"There are real werewolves that exist too, you know, not just vampires. You call your boys werewolves, but they are simply shape shifters that take the form of a wolf. Real werewolves change on the full moon, just like the stories. They also eat the flesh of humans and anyone they bite that survives will likewise become a werewolf," I informed them.

All four of them stared at me in disbelief.

"Besides, your people are just as inhuman as the werewolves and vampires. They are born with 24 chromosome pairs instead of 23 pairs like a human. Vampires at least used to be human, before their DNA was altered by the virus that infected their bodies, passed from one host to the next via their saliva, giving them 25 pairs of chromosomes. It hardly seems fair to blame them for getting an infection, catching a disease. Not one of them chose this life for themselves."

"But they're dead!" Sue exclaimed, frustrated.

I looked at her skeptically. "Sue, you're a nurse. I know you're smarter than that. Obviously they aren't dead. I know they don't have a heartbeat, but neither do plants and they're still alive. Vampires simply have a different type of circulatory system. If they didn't, they wouldn't be able to move or transfer energy to the various parts of their bodies. They continue to exist, think, speak, act, move. They are animated, alert. They have the six characteristics of living things used by scientists to determine the difference between living, dead, and non-living things."

"No, they don't grow and develop," Sue denied.

"They don't age, but they most certainly do grow and develop psychologically over time. If they didn't Carlisle wouldn't be able to operate on a human without becoming thirsty, yet he does it on a daily basis. He's never drank human blood in his 363 years on earth, deliberately choosing to feed from animals instead and teaching others to do the same. How can you condemn him as a bloodthirsty monster when he has dedicated his entire existence to helping humans and saving lives?"

"They don't have souls," Harry proclaimed. "They don't have emotions."

I laughed out loud. "That is such utter bullshit. All you have to do is spend a few minutes in their company observing them and you'd know how ridiculous that is. They know the difference between right and wrong, and they willingly choose to do what's right. If they were monsters or animals, incapable of deeper human emotions, then they wouldn't care about who they hurt when they were hungry. The truth is that they feel things more deeply than humans do. While their rage and jealousy is more profound than a human's, so is their love and passion. They have soul mates, just like the wolves do. One particular person who completes them and alters them irrevocably. They mate for eternity, incapable of intentionally harming the one they love or being parted. If one dies, the other will soon follow. You've seen the craziness of vampire mates defending one another and avenging the death of the other. It is no different than what your shifters would do if someone harmed or killed their imprints. The wolves can't live without their mates any better than the vampires can."

The Quileutes exchanged glances, lost in thought over the new perspective I was forcing them to see.

"I don't like the way you keep pointing out the similarities between our kind and theirs," Harry gruffly admitted. "How dare you say our people are inhuman?"

"Your family is supernatural, Harry!" I loudly insisted. "You, your wife, and BOTH of your children all have 24 chromosome pairs, just like Sam!"

Harry started to protest, but I cut him off, "If you weren't, you wouldn't be able to see me! If you were normal humans, you'd be as oblivious to my existence as your neighbor was!"

They all stared at me in shock at the proof I'd just presented them.

"Sure, you can procreate with humans, but you still pass down the supernatural genes to them, whether or not those genes remain dormant in a person's lifetime. Well, guess what?! Vampires are genetically compatible with humans also. The child of a vampire and a human will have 24 chromosome pairs just like you guys do. How do you know your tribe isn't actually descended from vampires? Perhaps that's where the extra chromosome pair came from in the first place."

"What?! That's not possible!" Harry shrieked, while Sue frantically shook her head in denial. Sam and Leah simply stared at me gob smacked.

Smirking, I informed them, "Oh, yes it is. Shape shifters have been known to imprint on vampire hybrids, proving just how compatible the two species are. How could a shape shifter and a vampire/human hybrid be mystical soul mates if the species weren't meant to coexist?"


	17. Rewriting History

**Rewriting History**

I left after dropping the genetic bombshell on the Quileutes, wanting to give them time to process all the information I'd forced on them. Leah walked me outside, letting me know she wanted to meet with me later alone.

It was dark when I joined her on the beach that evening. "So what have you decided?" I asked curiously.

"I want to phase too," she announced. "Sam needs help. He's running himself ragged trying to patrol our grounds."

"Are you sure about this?" I carefully questioned. "Once you start, it's hard to stop. What are you going to do if Sam imprints on Emily?"

"I've warned her to stay away from him, to never make eye contact. I told her about the legends, and she's promised to avoid him like the plague."

I frowned. "What if he imprints from seeing her in your thoughts? I don't know if that can happen or not, but you should consider the possibility."

Leah shrugged. "I'm pretty sure that won't happen. I've researched the legends, and I don't see anything to suggest it."

I raised an eyebrow, eyeing her skeptically, and reminded, "Your legends also don't mention females being able to shift, but that won't stop it from happening."

She bit her lip and sighed. "I'm just going to have to take that chance. I don't like the idea of Sam being out there alone. So, what do we do to trigger the change? Go see the Cullens?"

I shook my head. "I told you, if the Cullens were the cause for your tribe's shifting, then more of you would've already changed in the more than two years they've been here. There are a couple of human drinkers coming to town next month that will unknowingly trigger Paul and Jarrod. If you get close to them, that should likely trigger you too. Just remember, you won't just be sharing your thoughts with Sam, but with everyone in the pack."

Leah winced. "I need to change before then! Sam can't take on two blood suckers by himself!"

I scowled and rolled my eyes. "These two aren't dangerous to your tribe. They are the brother and sister of Jasper Whitlock, one of the Cullens. They only hunt bad guys - rapists, murderers, child abusers, that sort of thing. They save human lives vigilante style by removing the dangerous humans who prey on their own kind."

"Oh," she sighed. "I don't really know how to feel about that."

"Imagine yourself at the mercy of four men intent upon beating and gang raping you. There's a group like that in Port Angeles right know. They've done it to other teenage girls and never gotten caught, though the ring leader is wanted by the authorities in multiple states. Do you really feel the need to 'protect' them from becoming part of the food chain?" I pointed out to her. "If it was a mountain lion or bear attacking and feeding on them instead of a vampire, would you step in to stop it?"

As I talked, she'd gotten more angry and disgusted. "I see what you mean. No, I can't say I'd stop the vampires from eating them, if I knew for sure what they'd done."

"Peter has a gift that allows him to know and find the truly evil people in the world so he and his soul mate can feed without guilt and remorse," I explained.

"A gift of information like yours?" she wondered.

I nodded. "Only his is much stronger than mine."

She frowned thoughtfully. "Okay, well as long as they only kill the truly evil, I can't say I'd object. I think those guys deserve to become dinner."

I smiled. "There are plenty of other vampires that kill indiscriminately you guys can help destroy. In fact, there is a truly evil, sadistic couple coming in the spring that needs to be eradicated for the good of all."

She grinned enthusiastically. "Cool. So, you think if I get close to Peter, that'll trigger my change?"

I nodded. "I know Paul and Jarrod are supposed to shift right around the time of Peter and Char's visit, so I'm fairly certain that's the trigger. While they themselves aren't a threat to your people due to their feeding choices, the fact is they do drink human blood. I think whatever supernatural vibe that sends out is registered by your shifter genes."

"Any chance you could get them to come sooner?" she asked eagerly.

I frowned doubtfully. "I'll talk to Jasper, but don't hold your breath."

"Okay. Thanks, Walker!"

_Walker? As in Spirit Walker? I guess that makes more sense to them than Specter. I never did tell her what to call me. _Accepting the name, I simply smiled and disappeared, popping back up at the Cullen house.

**xxxxxxx**

Monday was a relatively boring day. Edward and Alice picked up Bella for school. Edward and Bella were openly demonstrative, deliberately showing the rest of the student body that they were a couple.

The only interesting part came when Mike Newton tried to confront Bella about it in gym class.

"So, you and Cullen, huh?" he probed.

"Yep," she replied confidently, having been coached by Rose.

"I don't like it," he grumped, scowling at the ground.

She raised an eyebrow and demanded, "Who cares what you think? It's none of your business who I date."

"He looks at you like . . . like you're something to eat," he complained.

She giggled. "I know, that's one of the things I like about him, how much he wants me. I'm glad he wants to eat me, and I intend to enjoy every moment of it when he does."

"Oh! Th-that's not what I meant," Mike stuttered, blushing as Bella laughed. He straightened his shoulders and tried again. "Though if that's something you want, I'd be more than happy to oblige."

She gave him a look of amused pity. "Mike, you're a nice guy, but you remind me of an overly affectionate puppy, and while that's cute in its own way, that isn't something I will ever be looking for in a romantic partner. I don't mind being strictly platonic friends with you, but I will never, ever want anything more from you. I won't ever be your girlfriend, your friend with benefits, or even your fuckbuddy. I'd rather become a lesbian than date you, okay? If you can't handle that and insist upon thinking of me as potentially sharing intimacy with you someday, then I don't even want your friendship. So, I suggest you focus your attention where it's wanted, like on Jessica, rather than wasting your time and alienating everyone around you."

"Damn, you're such a bitch!" he exclaimed.

Raising both eyebrows, she warned, "No, if I was a bitch, I'd have said that loud enough for our classmates to overhear, but instead I kept it between us. If you don't watch yourself though, I won't be so discreet next time."

His eyes darted around the room and realized she told the truth. Blushing, he shrugged and stormed away, still upset over her rejection. Luckily for him, Jessica hurried over to sooth his wounded ego.

**xxxxxxx**

Tuesday dawned with ice on the road, reminding me that it was the day of the van incident. I came along with Edward and Alice when they picked up Bella, curious as to how it would play out now that Bella was with them.

It was rather anticlimactic. Tyler's van did slide on the ice, but with Bella and her truck safely out of harm's way, it simply crashed hard into an empty tan car. The students in the lot were shocked silent by the loud smashing of the two vehicles, but the quiet was interrupted by a loud wail from Lauren, "My _CAR_!"

She raced over to inspect the damage, whimpering as she realized it was no longer drivable. Her expression was ferocious as she stomped around to the driver's side of the van, faltering when she realized it was Tyler, her crush.

"Are-are you okay?" she asked, trying to swallow her rage.

He looked at her with a dazed expression, blood trickling down his face from multiple lacerations. "Lauren?"

Figuring he was okay enough if he could talk, she huffed and narrowed her gaze at him, pointing her finger and declaring, "You owe me!"

He stared at her wide eyed and slowly nodded. "O-okay."

"Good!" she stated firmly, hands on her hips. "And you better have insurance!"

Luckily for Tyler, the emergency personnel arrived then, forced Lauren to move back, and carted him off to the hospital, while Edward, Alice, and Bella continued on with their day none the wiser regarding the situation they'd just avoided.


	18. Moving Along

**Moving Along**

Unbeknownst to everyone else, I'd popped off to see Peter and Char myself, rather than trying to go through Jasper. I'd caught them mid-hunt, staying out of sight until they were finished.

They weren't sure what to make of me, but upon discovering they couldn't touch me or vice versa, and the humans couldn't see or hear me, preventing me from being a threat of exposure, they relaxed and gave in to their curiosity.

"So you're a ghost?" Peter asked, trying unsuccessfully to poke me. Char flinched and stared at me apprehensively.

"No, I'm not dead. I'm having an out-of-body experience," I explained. _Wait a minute. I've been gone for over a week now. If nobody has found my body, I'll probably be dead soon. Maybe I'd better check on my body. I can't believe I didn't think of this before! On the bright side, this is the easiest diet I've ever been on, hope I've lost lots of weight._

Both of them appeared more comfortable with the idea of me being a living spirit than a dead one.

I smirked, "Yeah, I'm sure you wouldn't want the ghosts of your meals haunting you."

Both shuddered, wearing identical looks of horror and shook their heads enthusiastically.

"I've never met a wandering soul before," Peter mused. "Why aren't you with your body?"

"I'm helping the Cullens," I informed them. "Edward's finally found his mate, but she's human. They would've totally fucked up the whole thing without my input, but now it's so far, so good."

"Edweird's got a mate?! A female?!" Peter exclaimed.

I smirked and nodded, knowing where he was going with this.

"Well, whaddya know? I actually lost a bet!" he declared, grinning at Char and waggling his eyebrows.

She and I laughed at his shenanigans.

"This I've gotta see!" Char decided. "We were planning to go see the Major in a month or so anyway. We'll just get there a couple of weeks sooner."

"I'm looking forward to the fireworks when Eddie finds out you're coming," I laughed. "He's going to freak the fuck out, worried that you'll eat his precious mate."

They both rolled their eyes.

"He's so melodramatic," Char scoffed.

"I know," I giggled. "Just don't take it personally."

"We never do!" Peter cheerfully replied.

**xxxxxxx**

Just like I'd expected Edward hit the roof the moment Jasper announced the impending visit of his original coven mates.

"What?! They're human drinkers! It's too dangerous to have them so close to my Bella!" he cried.

"Actually, they're safer than the rest of your family," I countered. "The human blood they drink keeps them more satiated than the animal blood does for the rest of you, so they don't feel the thirst as strongly as you do. Despite the fact they do kill humans, their moral compass for protecting innocent human lives is just as strong as yours is, so they would be just as devastated by a slip that caused the death of a sweet young girl as any of you would. While they are not attached to Bella the way the rest of your family is, they know she's your mate and thus part of your family and would not do anything to harm your family. They love Jasper unconditionally and would not do anything to hurt him or anyone he cares about."

Jasper smiled thankfully at me and nodded his head in agreement. "It's true. They don't push their thirst on me the way the rest of you do. I never had difficulty with controlling my thirst at all until I started living with you, because human drinkers don't choose to live with the level of thirst we animal drinkers always face on a daily basis, even when were well fed. If anything, their satiated feelings will probably help balance your thirsty ones.

As for the rest, I know you don't agree with Peter and Char's feeding choices, though you lived that way yourself once. However, Peter's gift is even better at picking out meals than yours was, because he _knows _whether or not they'll ever reform. So he doesn't have to face the guilt of wondering if perhaps the humans would've chosen another path someday and saved their souls. He _knows _how many innocent lives he's saving by ending the lives of the evil ones. He knows how many people won't be beaten, raped, or murdered, how many children won't be kidnapped, molested, or abused, if he stops the human predator."

All of the Cullens appeared intrigued by Jasper's explanation, particularly Emmett and Rose, and I figured nobody had ever talked about it in detail before. Jasper's newfound confidence in himself enabled him to stand up and defend his brother and sister against his family's condemnation. I could tell by the looks on their faces that they had a new level of respect and acceptance for the couple that had never been there before.

With Peter's gift directing the choice of feeding, the Cullens, even Carlisle, didn't have a moral leg to stand on to argue against it. After all, they were all in favor of the death penalty in the human justice system and would all kill to protect their family as needed. Also, none of them, including Carlisle, faulted Rose for killing the men who'd beaten and raped her and left her to die, considering it her right to end their lives after the cruel, heartless way they'd essentially ended hers. The Cullens all agreed in their heart of hearts that evil people, regardless of species, deserved to die.

**xxxxxxx**

I went to check on my body while everyone was otherwise occupied. I found myself in the hospital with an iv and feeding tube in place. I quickly flipped through my chart to see what was going on with me medically. I was relieved to find that scans showed evidence of brain activity which meant the doctors intended to keep feeding me. I was glad I'd sprung for the highest level of health insurance at work and for both long and short term disability insurance, which would pay the mortgage on my house while I was incapacitated. I was being moved to a residential facility since I was considered stable. I'd been assigned a physical therapist to keep my muscles from atrophying, and the liquid diet I was now consuming would definitely ensure rapid weight loss.

I was having way too much fun to want to return to my mundane existence and figured it would hurt to leave my body alone for a few more months, at least until after the James incident. I'd check in on it periodically to be sure they weren't deciding to stop feeding me and let me die. There were a few people who cared about me, like my parents, but I was a grown woman in her twenties, living my own life and seeing them just a few times a year. They wouldn't miss me too much, not enough to justify giving up the opportunity of a lifetime and more excitement and entertainment than I'd ever experienced in my normal day to day living. My best friend and I had grown apart, I didn't have a boyfriend currently, and my coworkers were nice but not that close, so there was nobody tying me down to the here and now. With a smile and a light heart, I returned to my favorite vampire family.

**xxxxxxx**

Edward and Bella were getting along very well. Tyler was now following Lauren around like a lost puppy dog, to her great pleasure, making her a little easier for everyone else to be around. Mike had finally hooked up with Jessica and was giving Bella the cold shoulder, which didn't bother her in the slightest, but delighted Jessica and fed her ego, making her behave better toward others as well. Edward and Bella helped Angela and Ben get together, and those two now joined Edward, Alice, and Bella at the Cullen table at lunchtime. Alice was thrilled to be friends with Angela as well as Bella and was eagerly sharing fashion and beauty tips with the shy preacher's daughter, helping her to gain self-confidence and self-esteem similar to the way she was helping Bella.

Rose and Alice had been working hard to help Bella learn to love and accept herself, to be aware of her strengths and not exaggerate or dwell on her weaknesses, but to learn to correct or compensate for them instead. She was gradually coming out of her shell more and more each day, becoming more relaxed and comfortable in her own skin and not second guessing herself all the time.

**xxxxxxx**

I made a secret visit to someone else to set things in motion and hoped it was a good choice. I was really screwing with the story at this point by sending these characters into the Cullens' lives earlier and in a different way than the original storyline and could only guess at the outcome, hoping it made things better and not worse.

**xxxxxxx**

Friday night, Bella came to the Cullens for a sleepover. Rose and Alice had a plan and made everyone agree to wear pajamas, even though Esme had already admitted to Bella that none of them slept. Alice sent the boys, plus Carlisle and Esme, out to hunt, assigning the boys specific times to return. While the others were away, the had girl time with Bella, giving her a makeover. At my insistence, they agreed to include Bella, subjecting themselves to her ministrations just as she had made herself vulnerable to them in allowing them to mess with her hair and makeup. Alice gave Bella instructions while Bella styled Rose's hair, and Rose guided Bella in applying Alice's makeup.

It was extremely difficult for both vampires to sit still and allow Bella to touch them so intimately and entrust her with their looks. They felt the same nervousness and vulnerability sitting for her that she did sitting for them. Thus, they both got a much deeper appreciation for the gift she was giving them each time she offered herself up for makeovers, and Bella gained a great deal of confidence out of seeing their trust in her. She already knew how sensitive Rose was about her hair and Alice about her makeup, so to be allowed to alter those things proved to her how much the girls cared about her, helping her feel as if she truly did belong with the family. Being able to reciprocate made her feel like a sister and not like a pet.

Emmett was the first to return, as assigned. He dressed in the pjs Rose had laid out for him then came into Alice's room and stood by the bed as instructed. The girls were dressed in identical baby doll pajamas and were hiding in the en-suite bathroom. Alice came out first, walking across the room and doing a little pirouette in front of him, then stepping off to the side. Bella watched through the cracked door, then came out, following the same moves Alice had done. As soon as she was in place beside Alice and watching Emmett, Rose came out of the bathroom, following the same routine of the other two.

The moment Rose pirouetted in front of him, Emmett 'pitched a tent'. Pj pants being what they are, there was no way to hide his instant attraction even from Bella's human perceptions. Bella's shocked gasp caught his attention, and he followed her gaze down to his crotch.

"Oops!" he chuckled, reaching for a pillow off of Alice's bed to cover himself.

"Eww! Not my pillow!" Alice shrieked.

Laughing, Rose had mercy on them both, grabbing the pillow out of his hands and moving in front of him to block Bella's view. Bella was as red as a fire truck and had dropped her eyes, though she still had a smirk on her face. The girls sent Emmett out to the store, having him get dressed first, not wanting him to be around to alert the other guys to the girls' plans.

Shortly after he drove away, Jasper arrived. Like Emmett, he dressed in the pjs Alice set out for him and waited by the bed for the girls to do their fashion show. This time, Rose went first, followed by Bella, and ending with Alice. Jasper didn't even blink at seeing Rose and Bella in their skimpy night-time attire, but the second he caught a glimpse of Alice, he was at attention and ready for action. This time Bella didn't gasp, though Jasper caught her amused embarrassment. It didn't bother him in the slightest. Jasper was used to not having any privacy, having not had the luxury of it for the first eighty years of his vampire existence, so he was perfectly comfortable with fucking in front of an audience if need be.

Of course, Alice wasn't an exhibitionist and was secretly a jealous and possessive bitch when it came to her man, which is why they always kept their tender moments to themselves, away from the curious eyes of others. Alice had no intention of sharing her Major with anyone. She was well aware how many females of multiple species desperately wanted to take her place in his bed. She knew she had nothing to fear from Bella and Rose, who only had eyes for their own mates, but she still moved to block the view as soon as she knew Bella had gotten the point.

Jasper was reluctant to be sent away, but agreed after Alice promised to reward him later. Not long after he'd left the house Edward was in place by Alice's bed, dressed in the pjs he'd found in his room covered with Bella's scent. Bella watched from her hiding spot in the bathroom as Alice and Bella danced across the room in front of Edward. She was relieved to see his obvious lack of interest in his sisters, despite their beauty and them not being blood relatives of his. She was then quite gratified by his immediate attention and response when she pranced into the room.

Edward was taken off guard by his erection. He gotten a few before around Bella, but was able to hide the reaction from her previously. Not used to wearing loose pants without underwear underneath, and having only started to experience boners after meeting his mate, he'd had no idea how visible a woody would be in them and was terribly embarrassed when his eyes fell to where her gaze was focused.

Stuttering, he covered his crotch with his hands and raced to his own room to change into briefs and jeans. "How could you do that to me?" he wailed to his sisters, too quietly for Bella to hear.

"Relax, Bella needed that," I quietly called up to him through the floor. "Just listen to the rest of the conversation between the girls, and you'll understand."

"Wow! So he really is attracted to me then!" Bella exclaimed excitedly, bouncing on Alice's bed.

"That's what we've been trying to tell you!" Alice responded with playful exasperation.

"I just don't understand what he sees in me," Bella admitted. "I mean he's so gorgeous, all of you are, and I'm so plain. He could do so much better."

"No, he can't!" Rose insisted. "Look, the most important thing you need to grasp is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You don't see yourself as beautiful and a good catch, but Edward thinks you're the most beautiful female he's ever seen and far too good for him. He thinks of himself as unworthy of you and wonders how you could even want him. You have a complex where you don't see yourself clearly, but Edward's complex is even worse than yours. He's had supermodels in bikinis throw themselves at him, begging for his attention, and didn't even give them a second glance. He never even experienced an erection before he met you. Carlisle was seriously worried that the boy was impotent, that he was incapable of developing a sexually intimate relationship, because he never became aroused by anyone or anything before like guys usually do. In fact, half of us thought he must be gay and was simply repressing his feelings about it, though in all fairness, he never showed any interest in that direction either."

Edward was now standing in the hallway outside of Alice's bedroom looking seriously offended. I grinned at him and told him to wait, that the girls had a good reason for sharing this. He glared at me but stayed where he was.

"It's true," Alice agreed. "The boy was completely asexual until you came along. Now his hormones have kicked in with a vengeance. He's making up for lost time, but it's all for you. He still doesn't look at porn or think of other girls the way he thinks of you. In his eyes, you are the most beautiful, sexy woman on the planet."

"Maybe so, but now that his sexuality has been awakened, what's to stop him from moving on to someone else?" Bella worried.

"Well, that's one of the best things about being like us," Rose admitted. "You know that unexplainable draw you feel toward him? We all feel that toward our significant others, and once our souls make that connection, it never goes away. We know others with our type of blood disorder, and that love never fades or diminishes. In fact, it only grows stronger and gets better, lasting forever. Even after one partner dies, the other still feels the connection. There will never be anyone else for either of you."

**xxxxxxx**

**AN:** The snarky Peter who 'knows shit' and Jasper as the 'God of War' were originally created by IDreamofEddy to give credit where credit is due. She has since pulled her stories because of plagiarism, sad to say.


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